Baseball Toaster was unplugged on February 4, 2009.
Billy Crystal will suit up and play in an exhibition game with the Yankees tomorrow. It's a frivolous, ego-driven stunt, that is being promoted as a good, light-hearted time for all. The Yankee players, management and announcers, seem to fawn over celebrities like Crystal, and, as we well know, stars like Crystal just love being around jocks. Maybe I'm turned off by it because I wish I was Crystal, being able to live out my fantasies. More than that, though, I'm embarassed by his need to fulfill his every desire. Color me a spring training Scrooge.
Regardless, Crystal's star turn brought to mind a cover article Pat Jordan did on Tom Selleck for GQ back in 1989: "Magnum, P(retty), I(ndecisive):
Like many actors, Selleck is more than a little embarrassed by what he does for a living. He considers it unmanly. "It's easy to stare someone down with a gun when you know that after they shoot you dead you can get up again. Now, a big left-handed pitcher throwing me curveballs, ouch! That's real!"Selleck, at six feet four, 210 ounds and 44 years of age, is proud of his athletic ability. He is an Olympic-caliber volleyball player and claims his greatest achievement was recently being named to an all-American team for men 35 to 45. He also likes to talk about his college basketball days, and how he could really leap. "I didn't have white man's disease," he says. "In one episode of Magnum, we ended the show with me dunking a basketball. It was really important for me to do that without camera tricks."
It's important, too, for Selleck to take batting practice at least once a year with a major-league team. He has done so with the Orioles ("I hit a few out at Memorial Stadium") and with the Tigers ("A few players were screwing around in the outfield. When I hit one between them, they just looked") and, this past season, with the Dodgers. This time, it did not go well.
Selleck, Stood behind the batting cage with the pitchers, waiting to take his swings against the easy lobs of one of the team's older coaches. The pitchers kidded around, occasionally including Selleck in their jokes. He laughed nervously. This was obviously an important moment for him. He had spent the previous day at a batting range in preparation and did not want to look foolish.
Steve Garvey, the former Dodgers first baseman, walked onto the field accompanied by his latest wife, a striking cotton-candy blonde. Garvey, dressed in a navy blazer and tan trousers, looked less like a ballplayer than an actor. One of the Dodgers said to another, "Who's that with Garv?"
"His new wife."
"How do you know?"
"She's the one who's not pregnant."
Selleck went over to talk to Garvey. They chatted under a bright sun, two men who have embellished their careers by being "nice." Finally, it was Selleck's turn to hit. For the next hour he struggled, sweating and lunging, foul-tipping or just missing pitch after pitch. There was a lightness to his swing. He didn't attack the ball, driving toward it with his shoulders, but swung only with his arms.
"You're pretty good," said one pitcher, "...for an actor."
Selleck tried to smile.
When batting practice was over, Selleck hear a stern voice calling him from the seats behind home plate. "Thomas! Thomas!" He went over to [his publicist, Esmee] Chandlee, who was seated alongside Selleck's older brother, Bob.
"That was humiliating!" Selleck said.
"Oh, Thomas!" Chandlee said. "That pitcher was throwing hard."
"He was," Selleck said. "Wasn't he?"
"Pretty hard," said Bob, who had been a pitcher in the Dodgers organization years ago.
Crystal will be able to cover his ego in a way that Selleck couldn't because Crystal is a comedian and will resort to cutting everyone up when he invariably looks foolish. Serioulsy, though, they aren't going to let him play the field are they? Certainly not the infield I hope. The guy could get murdalized out there.
If I was pitching against him, just in the spirt of fun, I'd chuck one right at his dome, knock his ass down, and then say, "Where's Ya Moses....Nooooow?"
Would anybody in Hollywood appreciate, say, Jorge Posada stepping up to the mike on Oscar night and trying to crack a few jokes just because he's always wanted to? Not.
Spring Training is for the players to get ready for the season, and for youngsters who wish to play baseball for a living to demonstrate their skills -- not for artists and politicians to further fulfill their fantasies. Color me curmudgeon green, too.
this is also more fodder for all the yankee haters.
How did Billy Crystal manage this anyway? Dude hasn't been relevant in twenty years. When he was relevant, he was mediocre.
I would be embarrassed to put the uniform on if I hadn't earned it. How many kids toil away in the minors under conditions that Billy wouldn't let his maids live in never to even sniff a shot at wearing Pinstripes. This jackass apparently feels no shame or remorse in wearing them without having done a thing to earn the right or the honor. Well, I'm embarrassed for him and completely turned off by the stunt.
As far the Yankees are concerned, this is beneath them in terms of their history and what they represent to the sport. It's a slap in the face to the people who worked to earn the right to wear the uniform no matter what they say. I can only imagine what Joe D. and Thurman would have said about this.
Hopefully this ends up being not even a blip on the radar but it's one more little insult to the dignity of the organization. Eventually, these things add up. I wish it weren't happening. I wont be watching.
even if whatever's left of my modesty didn't prevent me from taking the field with the Yankees, I'd hope 60 years on this planet would provide me enough dignity to not disgrace the uniform. I think even old vets who played the game look somewhat out-of-place sporting baseball unis. Who needs to see silly Billy in the official pajamas?
I liked Crystal on "Soap," and later, I liked his stand up record from the mid eighties, which included some of the great bits he did on the lost seasons of SNL. You know, the Sherer-Guest-Short-Crystal era, the one that produced some winning material but is rarely, if ever, seen now because it took place when series creator Lorne Michaels was on hiatus from the show.
"Running Scared" wasn't great, but Crystal and Gregory Hines has some good chemistry in it. But I never dug any of Billy's other movies--"Harry Met Sally," the one with Jack Palance. He's a good Oscar host though.
But I don't think it would matter if he was my favorite actor, or comedian, or musician, or writer -- I just have no interest in watching any non-player playing baseball with the Yankees.
I suppose I should just lighten up about it, but... oh, whatever.
I can't see, otherwise, what they get out of it. Crystal IS a major fan, but so is everyone here. I doubt HE needs it in any career sense either. This (I'll bet) started as someone trying to spin a 'cute' 60th birthday present for him (he's 60 on Friday, apparently).
It may be worth mentioning that suiting up next to Bobby Abreu is NOT what will make me jealous of Billy Crystal. In his one-man show which toured last year he mentioned that as a kid he was taken to the movies by Billie Holliday. (His dad was in the jazz business.)
That'll do it.
I think that is a Yankee mistake, but not a major one in the scheme of things. Just dumb. One more to chalk up against the slide of tradition in sports, the evolution to 'entertainment + business'.
This Crystal thing doesn't bother me. He should know better; that he doesn't isn't a surprise. He ought to be ashamed, and I think most people will find it pathetic at best. If he wants to make a fool of himself, I say let him; that's enough for me.
I'm surprised the organization is doing this. Not only is it against the icy imperial corporate persona the Yanks have cultivated for years, but what happens if (when?) other high-profile celebrity Yankee fans come looking for theirs? Ugh.
4 Do you really think it is "beneath" the Yankees? I've heard other people make this argument, but it just doesn't wash. It's not like the Yankees have always been above gimmicky promotion in Spring Training. All you need to do is read about the exhibitions and stunts that took place during the days of Ruth, Gehrig and Joe D. Back then, however, the team used ST as a real money generator. This time around, the Yankees aren't using Crystal to generate publicity because they don't need it.
8 Crystal is playing tomorrow against the Pirates...an appropriate team for those concerned about disgracing uniforms.
Is he even relevant anymore? He made a really good career because of Meg Ryan having that "orgasm" at Katz's Deli in "When Harry Met Sally". I don't even find him funny.
I would hope he plays 3rd and he gets a liner to the shin, I know I hate those when I play 3rd in slow pitch softball.
1 I don't think ST is as relevant as it was years past. I'd find it hard to believe that a majority of the players aren't keeping in shape either playing winter ball, or working out in general. I would think teams would keep facilities open for their players.
13 From what I've read, there aren't many other high profile celebrity Yankee fans like Crystal.
No need for a Hollyood fluffer on the set, in my opinion. But you're absolutely right, it's not a big deal -- unless he somehow hurts somebody, or even himself doing something stupid.
Too bad Bruno Kirby isn't around to talk Crystal out of this.
And Brooks was in camp with a team two or three years in a row, including with the Mets in 2000.
I don't like this stuff, but it's not unprecedented.
16 But what about all those celebs who are spotted by FOX donning Yankees caps in the playoffs? Are you implying they aren't "true fans"?
"This time around, the Yankees aren't using Crystal to generate publicity because they don't need it." Then why are they doing it?
MFD at 13 sets forth the only reasonable reason to do it, charity or good works. If they were going to donate all or a portion of the gate receipts to a worthy cause, such as "Stand Up Comics Who are no Longer or never were Funny" then sure I'd bite. But I haven't heard about that here.
I don't think you're belaboring your point, we're just bantering :)
Carrot Top, Paulie Shore, ouch.
Emu Phillips?
The horror, the horror!
Because there are no ecomomic benefits of this move, there can't be a charitable hook. The Yankees are very generous with charities as it is, so I don't think they need to make a donation to justify the "event".
I guess I just don't see why having an actor play in an *exhibition" is beneath an organization. Heck, of the top of my head, I seem to recall that the Yankees once staged a spring training game within the courtyards of a hotel for the benefit of an abstinence preacher. If such stunts were good enough for the Babe (irony of aside), then I can live with them too.
Also awkwardly unfunny: Sarah Silverman, (whom I actually enjoy sometimes). I went inside to get a beer from the fridge, and she was talking to a friend, when suddenly, she drops her sweatpants. Underneath she's wearing men's underwear with "Jew" scrawled in black ink on the crotch.
How might that go over in a ML clubhouse? Oy, indeed.
I've already spent more time on this thing than I meant to so I'll shut up. I actually wasn't going to say anything at all but my index fingers got the better of me! Curse you and your Learn to Type program Mavis Bacon.
That said, if I was a celebrity and I could get a chance to play with the Yanks for a day just by asking, I'd jump at it (no matter how foolish I looked), so I really can't begrudge him for it. He's old enough that he probably doesn't care what people think anyway. He's just doing something that many of us would love to do. Only difference is that he can and we can't.
oh, Spitzer's officially out. Not surprising.
I don't think he's a bad guy necessarily. I do think in this instance he's acting badly.
Damn, there I go again. Shutting up now!
"TAMPA, Fla. - Andy Pettitte has been scratched from his start Wednesday with minor muscle irritation in his left forearm on the outside of the elbow."
O Crap, hold breath, it's just some ST soreness, right?
Link: See Right
35 uch. I'm no Will Carroll, but forearm soreness tends to linger, no?
Get well quick, Pett.
I'm with William, I don't care one way or the other. Hey, being in the minority is not such a bad thing >;) As long as he's not tying up the rest of the spring, let him do his thing for a day and be over with it. I doubt there are other (living) celebrities that can claim what Crystal can with the Yanks in any regard. And look at it this way, Alex, we have bigger dreams than playing for a day with the Yankees. It'd be nice, but it's not what I'm looking for. I wouldn't mind having a typical Yanks salary for a day, though... >;)
30 Mavis Bacon?? And what kind of computer do you have, a Dill? >;)
Very eloquently said.
The only time I can think of meeting a comedian who immediately lived up to my expectations (made me laugh at hello) was Laura Kightlinger. She made a spontaneous funny face, and noise at a friend that cracked me up. Didn't hurt that she's tall and attractive, too.
(you might not get that one unless you bid on govt. projects)
Dill, that rhymes with Dell. I don't have that kind either :-)
H ah haa ha ha!
"Mime is money."
Every Which Way But Proost
Didn't want to pile on, you know.
:)
EjectionsNew York Yankees pitcher Heath Phillips ejected by HP umpire Chad Fairchild. (1st); New York Yankees right fielder Shelley Duncan ejected by 2B umpire Charlie Reliford. (2nd); Tampa Bay Rays Jonny Gomes ejected by 1B umpire Jerry Crawford. (2nd); New York Yankees Third Base Coach Bobby Meacham ejected by 1B umpire Jerry Crawford. (2nd); New York Yankees Batting Coach Kevin Long ejected by 1B umpire Jerry Crawford. (2nd).
71 didn't see anyway coco was going to make it to opening day.
Shelley, Shelley, Shelley...
Anyhow, the price of Yanks-Rays tickets just went up. Won't the scalpers be pleased.
All kidding aside, I don't think Girardi is all that upset about Duncan "playing the game hard". And, to be honest, neither am I. Spikes high is "a part of the game" and the Rays have established that's how they play in Spring Training. The Yankees have long been a docile bench, but I think this incident serves notice.
Do we need the Rays looking for retaliation now sliding into Jeter or Cano?
The Rays are still a soft spot on the schedule -- no need to make them any "harder" than they are to play now. Silly Duncan. I'd have him cool his heels for a few days and give Ensberg the extra work.
But I don't get it. Why would you trade a great-fielding, weak-hitting CF for an unproven, weak-hitting utility OF? Because Pagan is cheap?
After an era of passivity, I don't mind Duncan's actions...ST or not.
Look around the horn, and on the bench, and in the rotation, and bullpen. Who do you see following Shelley's reckless charge into battle? Farnswacker and... ?
Still, it is nice to see some "we ain't taking your crap" attitude.
http://mvn.com/mlb-yankees/2008/03/12/name-the-three-kids-win-dvd-set-and-yankees-tickets/
If you are benching regulars to dodge a brawl and injury to them, you are in bush league country AND managing badly, as you can't bench them in the season. I hope this wasn't the case.
rotoworld suggests we were NOT throwing deliberately at the Tampa Bay batter, though the umpires were clearly on alert. Anyone see this? I seriously hope it is true and that Girardi's only failing is not roping in Shelley - and I will concede that lassoing Duncan is not a task for the frail of faint of heart.
But this is NOT one of those, 'the team came together in March over Tampa Bay' moments.
Pound Them For Cervelli? Nah. The Proust is in the pudding.
92 Proust is in the pudding! delicious!, as weeping might say.
March 12th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
You guys crack me up, all blood and guts.
Trust me, Girardi will be horrified by this. It looks like you can't control your players when somebody slides in like he's Bruce Lee.
Phillips got ejected, that should have been that.
You have to see it. He took off for second knowing he would be out. The throw beat him by five feet and he slid in with his right foot as high as it could go. The umpire ejected him immediately, it wasn't even close. It was obvious what he intended.
Shelley is great, he's a lot of fun. But I'm not making this up, he did what he did. If somebody from Tampa Bay had done that to Cano, you'd all be losing your minds. It was not a "good hard baseball slide."
Anyway, I have to run downstairs. You George Pattons have fun.
http://tinyurl.com/2k8p5r
No excuse!
97 yeah, Abe's great. Nothing personal against my fellow Yankee fans but many of the comments he gets give me a toothache. I tend to quickly scroll through them, searching for his responses. Saves me time, and Anbesol.
That does not look good.
He's only managed in a handful of spring training games, but I would hope the great many of you don't jump off the Girardi praise ship once the first 3 game losing streak happens or when he fails to use Mariano in a tie game, on the road and extra innings resulting in a Yankee loss.
Torre did more good than he did bad, but cruising through here and a few other blogs you'd think he was 2nd coming of Dallas Green. I guess that makes a great many of you feel better by ripping Torre than just looking ahead at the new era. Stop hating already, just move the fuck on already .and "Let's go Yanks". It's not, "Let's Go Yanks and Joe Torre you suck!!!", or is that new chant we'd like to adopt? You spoiled f-ers should just move on or become client #10, you have to find a way to get rid of all that bent up aggression someway or another. The Torre hate has got to stop, what good does it do?
In fact, odds are decent that's already 'on' you know.
Duncan may have had his Own Private Idaho going (see you a Patton and raise you...) but this doesn't remotely serve the team or the sport. We look petty and phony, chest-thumping for show. Huff and puff and SPIKE your house down.
AND Billy Crystal is out there tomorrow!
Actually, following on this chump change charade, we look even more lame with Crystal out in a uniform tomorrow. Me, I'd bench Duncan and let people know he's been benched. And we WOULD be losing our minds if it had been done to Cano.
I was all for retaliation... retaliation in the spirit of "good hard play." Or at least something that was in the ballpark. Spikes to nuts isn't. That's just plain dirty.
How long until Opening Day again?
104 2 different situations.
Even though Duncan could have handled it better, I do like his attitude of wanting to protect his teammates. I mean, it seems like the last few years that the Yankees have had players either hit by pitches (Jeter) or run over (Posada vs. Boston/ Jeter vs. Toronto/ Minky vs. Boston) without much retaliation. Our pitchers even get tossed for near misses (Randy & Joba). Don't misunderstand, I'm not for hurting the other team's players. But I think a well placed pitch into an opponent's buttocks is a fine way to take up for a teammate.
Again, IMO this should have been handled by drilling the dude that run over our catcher. But, I do like Shelley's attitude (even if it needs a little re-channelling).
Intentionally spiking a middle infielder is not a frequent occurrence.
Unless you're Ty Cobb...
;-)
Jeter gets hit a lot (relatively speaking) because pitchers work him inside. Not because of some agenda against the Yanks, as I often hear.
All I can say is that this Girardi inspired intensity better not get anyone hurt before he wins the World Series of Spring Training.
In real time it looked like a drunken Frankenshelly trying to play footsie. It could have been far worse for their 2nd basemen and for Cervelli.
Cobb's gotta be chuckling in his grave. Spike's up of course.
http://tinyurl.com/256nc7
Though he laced a double down left field line in BP, and did threaten Tino when Tino threw one behind his head (Jeter as instigator).
Note that Derek also gets hit a lot because he leans in. Combine pitched inside as their strategy with leaning in to go to right as his, and you'll get hit.
I remain unhappy that deliberate, no hope of making the base spiking is seen as 'defending a teammate' after a pretty standard plate collision. As I said, it looks petty not professional. As someone said: flip the scenario and have them throw at Alex next game. Do we yell, 'They started it!'
Jeez.
114 The slide wasn't as bad as the Post pictures make it seem. The Newsday photo presents a more tame depiction.
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