According to ESPN, the Chicago Cubs have made a two-year offer to future Hall of Fame pitcher Greg Maddux. Perhaps feeling the squeeze after the Astros upgraded their staff with a Hall of Famer of their own this week, the Cubs made what seems like a logical offer to Maddux. Maddux wouldn't have to be the ace of the staff, plus Chicago would get a shot to have the Mad Dog win his 300th game in a Cubbies uniform.

Sounds appealing to me, even though the deal calls for Maddux to make between $6 million and $7 million per year, which would represent a dramatic paycut. It should be especially appealing for all those unemployed, gold-bricking Cubs fans that former manager Lee Elia once lambasted. Oh yeah, I've heard that the Cubs are now the Yuppie team of cherce in Chicago. But let us not forget the bleacher bums who were celebrated by Elia in a fateful postgame press conference, back in 1983:

Eighty-five percent of the people in this country work. The other fifteen percent come here and boo my players. They oughta go out and get a fucking job and find out what it's like to go and a earn a fucking living. Eighty-five percent of the fucking world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A fucking playground for the cocksuckers.

Bring Maddux back, Cubbies. Give the bums and the Yuppies some gravy. And then make Ruzich and Carroll really happy and go sign Pudge to boot.