After weeks of silly headlines, Mike Piazza attempts to set the record straight: He does not want to be traded and is willing to play some games at first base:

"I don't want to be traded," Piazza told The [Newark] Star-Ledger in a casual, matter-of-fact tone by phone yesterday from his L.A. home. "I signed on for seven years. I made a seven-year commitment and I plan to stick to it. I don't know where all this came from, but it didn't come from me. What hurts me is that the fans are confused, and they shouldn't be. It's kind of embarrassing. It shouldn't be about me. It should be about making the team better."

..."I'm just trying to be accommodating, to help the team. I think we should have open lines of communication and we should be adults about it. They shouldn't be afraid to come talk to me about anything. I'll do whatever they want me to do. My agent was quoted saying I'm willing to play first base. I've said it over and over again. What do I have to do, go to the top of a mountain at high noon and sign it in blood?"

That would be funny. Not necessary, but funny. I'll settle for watching Mike play the air drums in the outfield during pre-game warm ups.