It takes a 2500 word essay for Chass to think the Red Sox are beginning to sound dysfunctional? How about having/not having a GM, appointing co-GMs (meanwhile the ex-GM still has his office), then rehiring the ex for some undefined position, then, aw hell, make the ex-GM the GM again. (phew.)

I'm most amused by yesterday's revelation from the two-headed dog (see Orthrus in your mythology book) formerly known as the Red Sox GM: despite their histories of medical problems, neither Beckett, nor Mota was subjected to a physical before they joined the Sox. Apparently, the player's medical records (and a note from their mother?) sufficed.

I'm not sure how thoroughly the Yankees doctors scrutinize prospective pinstripers, but isn't a physical as necessary as test-driving a used car before you purchase it? Service records don't tell half the story, right?

"They're killing me," he (Mariano Rivera) said by telephone this week. "They're ripping me apart. It's like my head is in Haiti, my legs are in China. I never said anything to anyone about the team being incompetent. I never said Panama is incompetent. They have a chance to win like any other team, as long as they play hard. This is about my arm."

Have we ever heard Saint Mo sound this annoyed? This ill-timed and logistically-flawed exhibition tournament, this swarm of gnats, is ruining the peaceful pre-season picnic that should be Spring Training!
Don't Tread on Mo!

The Big Hurt. When he was good, there was no one betta at the plate. Fearsome. Nice to see he still be around, but that body on those feet, a pair they do not make.

As for Mo, he should take a twelve step for metaphorists.

What the Sox said was that they don't always perform their own physicals on guys they pick up in trade, they always do with free agents. Go figure.

As for the Yanks, I don't know their policy, but I do know that Jaret Wright failed his physical. They signed him anyway, just changing the contract allowing them out of 2007 if Wright spent more than 75 days on the DL with a shoulder injury between 2005-2006. It looks like they saved themselves $7 M with that change, though they probably, in retrospect, should have bailed completely.

i really dont see why everyone's reading so much into this theo thing. theo and the ownership disagreed about the state of the team. theo walked away to prove his point. john henry went wait a minute, larry, you shut up, theo, come back and we'll talk about it. they did. they eventually came to an agreement. theo accepted the job again.

lots of people want to brand that as dysfunction...i fail to see the dysfunction in a GM not settling for a team strategy he fundamentally disagrees with, and an ownership willing to have an intense discussion about it in order to get him back and get everyone back on the same page. to me that seems like a lot of smart human beings acting like adults.

after this happened, they didn't WANT to release a lengthy statement or even hold a press conference--but dan shaughnessy et al took them to task for their supposed dishonesty in dealing with the public and fan base. even the normally even tempered jackie macmullan went apeshit in her column saying theo and the ownership OWED everyone a thorough, painstakingly detailed explanation.

so they came out with one...and now people are picking on the length of said statement?

it never ends.

And in the meantime, Red Sox goes on to have two GMs, who go about their jobs in a reasonably professional and unfussy manner, but have to constantly deal with insinuations that every good deal is being brokered by Epstein from the background. Peter Gammons writes effusive columns in praise of Theo and his plans to cure the world of every single malaise that afflicts it. And to cap it all, Theo comes back and usurps the two general managers and all the members of the Red Sox FO sing sweet nothings about teamwork and commitment in unison.

To be honest, it is a pretty bad soap opera. As a Sox fan, you are entitled to put any positive spin on it as you deem fit, but if the same thing were happening with the Yankees or Dodgers, the rest of the MLB would point at them and laugh. The same thing is happening with the Red Sox now, nothing really special. Red Sox FO uses media strategically to gain leverage on pretty much anything, and they have to live with the consequences of such strategies.

I'm having a good laugh at the Yawkey Circus. What a joke. I do wonder what Lucchino does now that John Henry has effectively chosen Theo over him in their power struggle. Does Lucchino move on at the end of the season or in a couple of years or does he stick out that long term contract and just ride it out until Theo falls out of favor? Lucchino will be in high demand from other owners who want help maximizing revenues and getting new stadiums.

Theo played his last card first by resigning, he will discover that he won't be able to play it again so everything better go well for the Red Sox under his tenure or next time he leaves in a gorilla suit, it will be his last exit.

I've no doubt that far nuttier and ridiculous stuff happens in the front office of many a ballclub, but most of them are smart enough to keep it more or less under wraps. I'm surprised that the usually media-saavy Sox brass allowed this soap opera to play out splashed across the Globe, the Herald and WEEI.

"damned if they do, damned if they don't."

True, and it's their own fault, for having managed this whole issue so poorly. Given everything that's transpired, there IS no course of action that won't draw ridicule from some corner.

"He can earn $1.4 million in bonuses by avoiding the DL with an injury related to his left foot ($325,000 each on May 1 and June 15, then $375,000 on July 15 and Aug. 15) and another $1.2 million by reaching 550 plate appearances, the AP reported."

With the departures of Millar and Damon, who will be the "voice of the Red Sox"? I THINK WE ALL KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT!!! 'The Mouth" will be roaring in '06!

Damon and Millar were the chearleaders, spokesmen, sideline boosters, and PR hacks of the most recent Sox teams. Of course Schilling waved his fat lips around a great deal, but his comments always seemed to be tempered by the clownlike antics of Mr. Cowboy Up and Johnny of Nazareth.

But now that they're gone, it gives The Mouth the lone place at the mic stand. Heaven Help Us All! It'll be intolerable!

how about, i was horrified when theo left, now he's back, i'm not going to sit here and complain about the circumstances, and i think those who do in boston are complete gnitpicking idiots?

how about, this kind of thing happens in business all the time--someone leaves an organization and comes back when there have been discussions about philosophy, chain of command, etc.

"it's their own fault for managing this so badly".

yes. because they should have implanted a mind-control chip on theo that would keep him from ever questioning them or asserting his opinion in a way that might take a serious process to work out. is that what's worked on cashman?

"theo and the ownership disagreed about the state of the team. theo walked away to prove his point. john henry went wait a minute, larry, you shut up, theo, come back and we'll talk about it. they did. they eventually came to an agreement. theo accepted the job again. "

This was the specific spin I talked about. Nobody, including you and me know what really happened behind closed doors. It is open to imagination and interpretation. What you wrote there was putting the situation in the best possible light for Theo Epstein. And it is your prerogative, as I conceded before. I choose to see it differently, as is mine.

It did put the Yankees in bad light during the Bronx zoo era when Billy Martin kept getting fired and rehired by Steinbrenner. This latest Theo-Red Sox melodrama (which are driven more by sentiment than by business, and so, I would be shocked to see evidence that "it happens all the time in business") have a similar air, although nobody got fired.

If it were business, they would have cut the crap and gone straight to "Theo Epstein is a shrewd and competent GM, and he suits our organizational needs best" and Theo saying "At this point, this is what is best for my career and I feel comfortable doing this job". That incredibly verbose crap served no purpose except to provide more evidence of ongoing (bad) soap opera.

I dont know why the Cashman bit came up either, but Cashman did clarify the situation succinctly to Yankees brass who apparently met his demands before the contract extension. The specific nature of those demands were Cashman being the filter through which every decisions pass, as revealed by Cashman himself. Far from anything like a mind control chip.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorilla_Grodd

"Grodd's psionic abilities allow him to place other beings under his mental control. Grodd can also project mental attack beams and transfer his consciousness into other bodies."

This would give Kid Kong Epstein the upperhand in future negotiations with supervillains like $cott Bora$ and Larry Lucchino.

exactly sam2175!

It has become a pastime of certain Sox fans to limn Cashman as a spineless mediocre yes-man content to take George's shit, and the Boss as a callous owner. In their version of things, Cash is unprincipled, is over-rated because the Yanks should always win with that budget, and displays none of the integrity and willpower of the Boy Genius. And the Boss lacks the sympathetic nature of that most gentlest of millionaires, John Henry. Yet, it was Cashman who stood up for himself at the negotiating table and to great effect: his boss actually took him seriously.Imagine that.The Boss actually repected and listened to what Cash wanted. From afar, the opposite seems to have occurred in Boston. Sensitive and gentle man that Henry is, he just didn't understand that young Theo chafed under Luchinno's watchful (perhaps all too critical) supervision. And Theo, oh great Theo, called it quits rather than compromise his vision, and suffer the indignities of having to report to Larry. But then the story changes. Well kind of. Lucchino doesn't get fired and Theo still returns? How does happen? Who compromised? Surely Larry isn't going to stop being the snake he's always been. So did Theo realize that his power play was all for naught? The Dodgers situation was not to his liking, and none of the teams hiring were to his liking. Did he return with hat in hand? And did he willingly implant his own mind control chip?

Arrgh, January is so goddam cold and boring. Who gives a rat's ass about the soap opera that is Boston? It's just fun to speculate on the personal shortcomings of our teams' respective gm's. I truly wish the games would start now.

All the time? I'd say it's fairly uncommon.

"yes. because they should have implanted a mind-control chip on theo that would keep him from ever questioning them or asserting his opinion in a way that might take a serious process to work out. is that what's worked on cashman?"

Huh? I fail to see how handling the negotiations with Theo in a manner that was discreet and professional (and Theo handling them in the same manner) would, in any way, preclude him from "asserting his opinion" or would imply the process wasn't a serious one.

I'm sorry Beth, I actually like Theo, and living in Brookline I know a few people who've known him for many years and speak the world of him, but it doesn't change the fact that the Sox brain trust had their heads up their arses and Theo acted like an angry little kid taking his ball home and pouting.