Baseball Toaster Bronx Banter
2003-03-10 08:34
by Alex Belth


I stopped by my friend Joey La P's place in the East Village yesterday afternoon, and was thrilled and delighted to catch a couple of innings of the Yankee game. Joey has somehow managed to scam 6,000 channels of digital cable for himself, so we caught the Tampa Bay Fox feed of the game.

The most exciting thing I saw was Godzilla Matsui bat for the first time.

Boy, is he f-ugly. But like the real Godzilla, Matsui is ugly in a friendly way. Like a three-year old, Matsui has a very large head. He has high cheek bones, and a wide face, and crooked teeth. Matsui doesn't look unlike a Cro-Magnon version of Christopher Walken.

But he's not comically ugly, or offensively ugly. His face has character.

Matsui has huge, Robert Newhouse-fullback thighs, and a big, fat ass. He stands very erect in the box, and was selective and patient in the at-bat I saw. He pulled a 2-2 pitch on the ground to the right side. The ball kicked off Travis Lee's glove, and into the outfield; Rondell White scored from second on the play. I believe Lee was given an error.

Still, Matsui looks to be an appealing hitter to watch. God bless Joey La Pep, and his scamming ass.


One player who has had his fair share of critics over the past year and a half is Andy Pettitte. Some feel as if Pettitte is just not healthy enough to be a big time pitcher any longer. Andy's performance on Saturday didn't help dismiss the skeptics.


I recieved an e-mail from a reader, plugging his keeper fantasy league. I'm not going to have the time to participate, but I thought I'd pass it along in case any of you out there were interesting. Here are the details he forwarded to me. Check it out:

Details: This will be a ten-team yahoo keeper league with a live mixed draft on 3-17-03 @ 6:50 pm est. To join the yahoo league click, join private league, then enter league id #53151, password-daggers.

After the season you will be able to reserve 4 players from your team, and use them again next season. There is a $100 entry fee for this league, payable in full or installments via money orders, check, yahoo pay direct, or paypal. PAYMENT DOES NOT NEED TO BE MADE PRIOR TO THE DRAFT!! Please contact me for payment details and address.

Entire amount must be paid by all-star game, or your team will be dropped, and any money paid will not be refunded. Prizes-$850 to overall winner including playoffs, $150 to playoff runner-up.

Scoring will be head to head based on these categories : R H HR RBI SB AVG OPS W L CG SHO SV K HLD ERA WHIP. Your roster will consist of the following: Starting Positions: C, 1B, 1B, 2B, 2B, 3B, 3B, SS, SS, OF, OF, OF, OF, Util, Util, SP, SP, SP, SP, SP, SP, RP, RP, RP, RP, DL, DL PLUS 5 BENCH SPOTS.

Please email me with any questions.

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