Baseball Toaster Bronx Banter
ALCS Game Three: Yankees 19, Red Sox 8
2004-10-17 11:20
by Alex Belth
Note: The Bronx Banter blog has moved to

Bomb Squad Buries Boston

It was cold and rainy late yesterday afternoon in Manhattan when Emily and I arrived at the Colony Club on Park Avenue to attend the wedding of Em’s cousin. The Colony Club, one of the oldest private clubs in New York. Man, I never thought I’d be in an exclusive place like that, unless I was working in the kitchen or delivering flowers. The Colony Club is on northwest corner of Park avenue and 63rd street, directly across the street from where Woody Allen used to edit his movies. I worked for Allen for six months in the mid-90s and hadn’t been back to that neck of Manhattan more than once or twice since. What made the experience inherently weird is that Em’s direct family is so unpretentious that you'd never expect to see them at a place like the Colony Club.

I borrowed my cousin Scott’s tux, and made like the good boyfriend that I am. (Is it cruel or just unusual to mention that Scott is a die-hard Sox fan?) Emily was pleased because she doesn’t get to see her family too often, and she’s fond of a few of her cousins. The rest of the scene was good for laughs, as there was plenty of fodder for jokes. Most all of the women had huge rocks on their fingers, and their husbands either looked like zhlubby accountants or the kind of rugged, handsome scoundrels you see on the Lifetime network. During the ceremony, I looked around the room and was reminded of those grotesque audience shots from Woody Allen’s “Broadway Danny Rose,” and “Stardust Memories,” (which he lifted from Frederico Fellini). Here is part of a conversation I overheard between two women moments before the bride walked down the isle:

First Lady: So he refuses to buy a Rolex. He says it's just a waste of money. But then he goes around and buys a Bentley. So I say, what's the difference?

Second Lady: He's so full of it.

First Lady: Well, he says, 'You know, you can get a decent watch for $500. A Bentley is luxurious.'

Second Lady: Really.

First Lady: But what are you paying for a Bentley? He tells me $165,000 dollars.

Second Lady: Don't you believe it.

First Lady: For a quarter of that price he can have a Lexus which is just as luxurious and comfortable. But then he tells me, "\'People notice you in a Bentley, and not in a Lexus. They notice a Bentley. They can't even see a Rolex.'

Second Lady: He does have a point.

It was that kind of crowd. The bride seemed genuine, and happy but the affair was an exercise in excess. The whole thing left me feeling melancholy. Fortunately, Em was having a good time and that’s all that mattered.

At one point, I heard a curly-headed Yankee fanatic sitting at the next table say, “Six-six, third inning.” What? Man, I was trying avoid hearing anything about the game. It’s only the third inning. It’s almost 10:00. Awww man, here we go again. I told the guy only to give me updates if there was good news. Needless to say, I heard nothing but happy reports from then on out.

We got back to our place in the Bronx in time to watch the bottom of the ninth. The fans who remained had their hats turned inside out, and most of them were smiling. (Got to laugh to keep from crying at that point.) Those are true fans I thought. I only got to see the highlights, but it seemed like a horrible game to watch from an aesthetic point of view. Of course, I can’t complain because the Yanks now have a 3-0 lead. The offensive numbers for New York's middle of the order are staggering:

Alex Rodriguez, 3-5, 5 runs scored, 3 RBI; Gary Sheffield, 4-5, 3 runs scored, 4 RBI; Godzilla Matsui, 5-6, 5 runs scored, 5 RBI, Bernie Williams, 4-6, 1 run scored, 3 RBI.

So while I can’t offer any analysis of the game, here is some of the media reaction: Larry Mahnken, Edward Cossette, The Soxaholix are the only bloggers up early this morning. But the mainstream media had plenty of time time before the end of the game to file their stories. Check out the latest from:

Bob Hohler, Bob Ryan, Dan Shaughnessy, Jackie MacMullen, Tyler Kepner, Jack Curry, Bill Madden, Mike Lupica, and John Harper.

El Duque Hernandez will start for the Yankees tonight; Derek Lowe goes for Boston. Let's Go Yank-ees.

Comment status: comments have been closed. Baseball Toaster is now out of business.