Baseball Toaster Bronx Banter
Can the Yanks Make it Five Straight?
2008-07-22 13:08
by Alex Belth

Why not?

Comments (321)
Show/Hide Comments 1-50
2008-07-22 16:09:33
1.   Eirias
Citrus was the best flavor.
2008-07-22 16:30:56
2.   Eirias
Alright, mehmattski. We need to insert your moss chloroplastic DNA into a YAC, transfect that into my S. pombe, hyper-"evolve" the yeast into a team of man-shaped baseball-playing Yeast-Men and we'll have our replacement for Posada. And we can pay in 680/700 nm light, CO2, and water!

I'll leave the third step to you. They teach that in grad school, right?

2008-07-22 16:36:27
3.   Chyll Will
Hello (hello... hello...)

Echo (echo... echo...)

2008-07-22 16:38:51
4.   cult of basebaal
3 now batting ...

manny ... manny ... manny ...

mota ... mota ... mota ...

2008-07-22 16:39:18
5.   cult of basebaal
2 step 3 ... profit!
2008-07-22 16:39:30
6.   weeping for brunnhilde
Good Christ, this guy's on fire.

What batspeed to go up and slam that thing into right field.


2008-07-22 16:39:35
7.   cult of basebaal
2008-07-22 16:41:24
8.   Eirias
3 Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone.
2008-07-22 16:41:29
9.   Schteeve
Wiggle Your Big Toe!
2008-07-22 16:41:47
10.   Eirias
Cano... why must you disappoint us?
2008-07-22 16:42:14
11.   tommyl
Hey, who's this all star second basemen we seem to have picked up over the break? Anyone know where he came from?
2008-07-22 16:48:25
12.   RIYank
10 I like your refrain, but I think I don't quite get it.
2008-07-22 16:48:40
13.   Schteeve
Also, who is this pitcher who is not good but at least respectable?
2008-07-22 16:48:44
14.   monkeypants
It looks so far like we have Good Rasner tonight...
2008-07-22 16:49:26
15.   monkeypants
10 Billy...don't be a hero...
2008-07-22 16:51:39
16.   monkeypants
Does Gardner start every AB 0-2? Like, does he have one strike for sitting on the bench, and gets a second strike the moment he stands in the batter's box?

I like the idea of Brett Gardner, but he is starting to try my patience.

2008-07-22 16:52:15
17.   cult of basebaal
16 get in line ...
2008-07-22 16:52:18
18.   Just fair
If Tim McClellan was not behind the dish, Rasner may be looking even better. And Leiter drops the aaaa status on Gardner. Agreed.
2008-07-22 16:54:58
19.   RIYank
17 Dude, he's low on patience, and you tell him to get in line? What are you, a demonic sports god worshiper or something?
2008-07-22 16:55:53
20.   cult of basebaal
17 i'll still say that gardner could play up here ... but he's completely lost right now and i don't think he's gonna figure it out up here.

i think he's like melky back in 2005 ... overmatched ... brett should get some time down in SWB to refind his swing and consolidate what he's seen and learned up here ...

2008-07-22 17:00:40
21.   cult of basebaal
ugh. let's hope good rasner has a bit of run in him, aceves only went 3 down in SWB before hitting his pitch count of 65 ... gonna be a few more starts before he's likely going to be a choice as a replacement ...
2008-07-22 17:00:42
22.   monkeypants
19 : )

20 I don't know if he can bunt at all, but he gets to 0-2 so quickly that the option to bunt is gone almost immediately. It's to the point where I I almost wish he would bunt regardless, or just go up hacking.

2008-07-22 17:04:32
23.   OldYanksFan
I think Gradner is VERY intimidated/not confident in his ABs. He ain't Harry Honds (or his cousin) but he's better then what we've seen.
2008-07-22 17:07:55
24.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
Ohayo Gozaimasu. "Good" Robinson is here again today? Gameday slowly opening up...
2008-07-22 17:09:09
25.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
bees said already most likely but.."Slowey"..what a great name!
2008-07-22 17:10:24
26.   RIYank
yes, Rbi Cano is in the house.
2008-07-22 17:10:42
27.   Max
Gameday says injury delay after Alex's out. My heart stops every time I see that given how battered our team is. Anything actually going on, or is Gameday just wonking out?
2008-07-22 17:11:16
28.   cult of basebaal
21 damn. cashman was down in AAA to watch aceves tonite ... bad time to have a weak start.
2008-07-22 17:11:42
29.   cult of basebaal
27 arod's grounder hit slowey
2008-07-22 17:12:29
30.   RIYank
27 No, just the Twins checking on whether Slowey was hurt by A-Rod's hit.
2008-07-22 17:13:07
31.   cult of basebaal
man ... remember when we had our kevin slowey ... some guy by the name of kennedy?

that seems so long ago ...

2008-07-22 17:13:33
32.   RIYank
Oop. Guess I owe you a soda.
Root beer? Cream? Or what do basebaal cultists drink, sulfuric acid?
2008-07-22 17:13:44
33.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
31 trying to compute...sorry, file not found...
2008-07-22 17:16:32
34.   nick
If Gardner can't hit .250, we can't afford him out there....

Pete A thinks Cashman's priority should be getting a starter, not a bat. Anybody agree?
It seems to me that it'd be a lot easier to acquire an OF bat who clearly improved on what we've got right now than it would be to acquire a starter. We may have pitching reinforcements coming, three guys who could be ready within 4-6 weeks, but best-case scenario we have a Damon/Melky/Abreu OF with Gardner coming off the bench. It doesn't take a great RH bat to seriously strengthen that outfield.

2008-07-22 17:18:33
35.   Emma Span
28 Maybe I'm remembering wrong, but didn't that happen to Joba last year, too? Had a really rough start the night Cashman was down there checking him out?

Or maybe it was a different prospect, Hughes or Kennedy, and I'm getting my wires crossed...

2008-07-22 17:18:57
36.   cult of basebaal
32 well, right now we're drink a california riesling to go with the pasta for dinner ... but some sorta of sacrificial blood probably works here too ...
2008-07-22 17:20:13
37.   cult of basebaal
34 well, if we can get washburn for igawa and some spare part ... like wright or kontos or britton or such, i'd say get a starter AND look into a bat.
2008-07-22 17:22:49
38.   Emma Span
28 35 Yep, it was Joba, in Trenton last year:

Didn't delay him for long, not that Aceves is Joba, of course.

2008-07-22 17:22:55
39.   OldYanksFan
34 I prefer a bat, but I would lean towards the best 'impact' player. I'd rather have a stud SP then a pretty good OFer. Seeing as how we need an OFer now and for the next few years, that seems the obvious choice. But I don't want a Nady type guy. Bay, Holliday, Dunn might put a charge in the lineup but I dont think a C+/B- type guy will make that much of a difference. Hell, if Melky pulled his head out of his ass, he could be a C+/B- type guy.
2008-07-22 17:23:09
40.   RIYank
34 It just depends on who's available and at what price. Jason Bay >> Jarrod Washburn, for instance.
2008-07-22 17:23:15
41.   tommyl
Cy Rasner at it again!
2008-07-22 17:23:42
42.   tommyl
Do you think Twins fans are sitting at home right now saying, "C'mon guys, its Darrel Rasner!"?
2008-07-22 17:24:46
43.   monkeypants
34 In four to six weeks the season could be effectively over.

That said, offense is a greater concern than pitching, IMO. But it might be easier to get a middling pitcher--who will probably be an improvement over Ponson, whose pixie dust is bound to run out--than a bat that would actually provide much more pop than Betemit-Sexson (assuming Damon goes back to LF, the only spot improvable spot in the lineup probably will be DH).

2008-07-22 17:24:56
44.   RIYank
38 I don't think Cashman actually makes his decisions based on what he sees, does he? I mean, he relies on numbers and professional scouts/evaluators, right? Please?
2008-07-22 17:26:25
45.   cult of basebaal
40 cost for jason bay >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> cost for jarrod washburn
2008-07-22 17:26:35
46.   monkeypants
36 Riesling with pasta? Heresy!
2008-07-22 17:27:48
47.   RIYank
42 Yeah, I think they're moaning about their "ass bats".
2008-07-22 17:28:37
48.   RIYank
46 Not necessarily. He didn't say tomato sauce. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt.
2008-07-22 17:28:37
49.   nick
Fair enough. It just seems to me that given the endemic overvaluing of pitching, getting an OF who hits better than Gardner and Melky is gonna be a lot cheaper than getting a pitcher who's better than Ponson and Raz.

But a lot depends on whether you think Wang &/or Hughes will be in the rotation on Sept 15 or so...

2008-07-22 17:30:32
50.   cult of basebaal
46 you want with the ALTAR OF PAIN?!?!?!?!

48 cream sauce, of course ...

Show/Hide Comments 51-100
2008-07-22 17:30:51
51.   Emma Span
44 Yes, I'm sure he'd never make a judgement based on one game. (... er, pretty sure).

Just thought it was interesting that the same thing happened to last year's most-hyped prospect, too.

2008-07-22 17:31:15
52.   Just fair
A 3-1 fastball at 87 mph that Brett swings right though. And then he window shops on another fastball on the outside corner. Ugh.
2008-07-22 17:31:48
53.   cult of basebaal
44 he's probably also there to talk with scouts and the coaches (i seemed to recall that nardi was around AAA and AA recently, though i can't find whether he's in SWB at the moment)
2008-07-22 17:32:35
54.   ms october
you are right oyf - gardner is very intimidated/unconfident right now.

so, rasner holds up another few innigs, turn it over to the pen; the a's hold on against the rays; and daisuke blows up tonight

2008-07-22 17:33:33
55.   OldYanksFan
Talk about a meatball.
2008-07-22 17:34:16
56.   RIYank
54 Yeah, Daisuke blowing up against the Mariners, huh? Hard to imagine. What would happen, they'd get four singles?
2008-07-22 17:34:55
57.   monkeypants
48 Still, pairing riesling with pasta, even a white sauce?

Actually, I don't buy into that stuff...I'm pretty much a drink what you like sorta guy.

2008-07-22 17:35:34
58.   cult of basebaal
get the bullpen up, joe ...
2008-07-22 17:35:45
59.   RIYank
Gomez is what we were hoping Gardner could be.
2008-07-22 17:36:08
60.   ms october
crap that's not in my plan!

54 i'm thinking 10bbs and ichiro or someone gets a hit or two

2008-07-22 17:36:23
61.   Max
29 30 Thanks guys!

In last night's game thread, I praised the MLB app on the iphone (the video part, anyway). I have to say, though, that this "new" Gameday 3D on the computer really sucks...seems to lag even more than the old version, will lose track of batters, and all the different indicators of game status and pitch status don't always match up. I'll be following A-Rod's at bat, for example, and I'll be told he's out five pitches into what was an eight pitch at-bat.

All this for a few additional angles on viewing the pitcher-batter interaction that don't seem terribly useful.

2008-07-22 17:37:48
62.   monkeypants
49 They have someone who can hit better than Gardner--his name is Johnny Damon. Getting someone who can hit better than Melky is easy, but can he play CF?
2008-07-22 17:38:43
63.   RIYank
I don't think it's the new Gameday. It's just incompetent people feeding it the data.
2008-07-22 17:38:44
64.   Emma Span
I'm sorry it scored a run, but I can't help but root for Denard Span...
2008-07-22 17:39:42
65.   Eirias
Damn it, mehmattski! Our team of mutants would never have given up a run.
2008-07-22 17:40:34
66.   nick
64 all-name team? or some other reason?
2008-07-22 17:40:56
67.   Just fair
Yikes. That could have been ugly. Keep it in the park, Rasner.
2008-07-22 17:41:12
68.   RIYank
64 Understandable. I read your expressed hope that he would restore dignity to the reputation of the name you have worked so hard at sullying (that's not exactly how you put it but something like taht).
2008-07-22 17:41:31
69.   Biscuit Pants
66 Uh . . Nick . . ?
2008-07-22 17:42:24
70.   nick
I go to Robertson with one out, but I'm not Girardi...
2008-07-22 17:43:17
71.   tommyl
This does not bode well...
2008-07-22 17:43:39
72.   OldYanksFan
Joe T. pulls Raz here. Joe G. leaves him in. Is there a correct decision?
2008-07-22 17:43:42
73.   nick
69 so my comic delivery is poor?
2008-07-22 17:43:49
74.   RIYank
70 I dunno, Rasner isn't really pitching badly. Gomez' hit was serious, but the others weren't much, and I think pitching around Morneau was strategic.
2008-07-22 17:44:10
75.   tommyl
Oh he was so fucking out! By half a step. C'mon, that's a game changing call!
2008-07-22 17:44:31
76.   Biscuit Pants
73 Timing. It's everything.
2008-07-22 17:44:53
77.   OldYanksFan
This sucks. It's time for instant replay.
2008-07-22 17:45:39
78.   Biscuit Pants
. . . waiting for the Gameday video . . .
2008-07-22 17:45:50
79.   cult of basebaal
jebus. how many calls are the umps going to blow this year???

2nd game in a row they've cost us a run.

2008-07-22 17:46:02
80.   ms october
75 that giambi fielded that ball and made a reasonable throw to second should on prinicple alone have resulted in the dp
2008-07-22 17:46:30
81.   Just fair
Rasner did well tonight. The fact of the matter is Kevin Slowey is throwing a 2 hitter. And he hasn't faced the black hole of 7,8,9 fives each. Bleh.
2008-07-22 17:46:35
82.   tommyl
Lost in all that btw was a tremendous play and throw by Giambi. He's channeling Donnie Baseball out there.
2008-07-22 17:46:39
83.   Biscuit Pants
On Gameday, Robertson is a shadow of himself . . .
2008-07-22 17:47:36
84.   tommyl
David Robertson, a man who would never be pitching with Torre managing this team.
2008-07-22 17:47:50
85.   Biscuit Pants
Love that kid
2008-07-22 17:48:38
86.   monkeypants
So, why did Girardi yank Rasner after the bad call at 1B? I'm not paying close attention to the game, but it sound like he was getting Gardnered more than hit hard.
2008-07-22 17:49:04
87.   RIYank
So D. R. got all three outs that inning after all.
2008-07-22 17:49:31
88.   RichB
Re: need for pitcher or hitter, I think the staff is doing pretty well and we have reinforcements on the way. Also, cost of pitching >> cost of hitting. I wouldn't be the one to give away good talent to save this particular season.

Also, batters get in there every day. A pitcher will only affect 1 game in 5 and probably only for 6 innings at that. We need offense every day. It's not like we have a staff of Cliff Lees.

2008-07-22 17:49:49
89.   RIYank
86 He was, but he'd thrown 92 pitches and I suspect Girardi saw signs of tiring.
2008-07-22 17:49:54
90.   Biscuit Pants
C'mon Johnny
2008-07-22 17:49:56
91.   OldYanksFan
You can't blame the umps. We look at it in slo-mo at 4 different angles and it's still a tough call, especially as a tie goes to the runner. He looked out, but only technology can say for sure.
2008-07-22 17:51:23
92.   Just fair
Hit and Run. Do something.
2008-07-22 17:51:27
93.   nick
all right, boys, top the order, let's drive this chump to the showers...
2008-07-22 17:51:46
94.   Biscuit Pants
man that was a double play
2008-07-22 17:52:37
95.   Biscuit Pants
91 How about a little home cookin'??
2008-07-22 17:53:26
96.   tommyl
86 Gardnered, lol, love it.
2008-07-22 17:53:44
97.   OldYanksFan
We need more out of Jeter if we are going to win anything.
2008-07-22 17:54:13
98.   Eirias
Come on Abreu, show me why I (seemingly alone) still like you.
2008-07-22 17:54:39
99.   Jeb
Dennis Reyes warming up. He looks like his mumps haven't cleared up.
2008-07-22 17:54:50
100.   cult of basebaal
crap, damon's taking a lead half-way to second, have him steal!!! then jeter moves him to third. gah!
Show/Hide Comments 101-150
2008-07-22 17:55:28
101.   Eirias
99 Not vaccinated? Better watch out for rubella.
2008-07-22 17:55:30
102.   monkeypants
97 You mean like 2-6 with a HR?
2008-07-22 17:55:34
103.   tommyl
98 I don't hate him...
2008-07-22 17:55:56
104.   tommyl

Welcome back to the lead.

2008-07-22 17:55:57
105.   Just fair
2008-07-22 17:55:59
106.   RIYank
2008-07-22 17:56:13
107.   tommyl
103 Its all me, I typed it right before he hit it out.
2008-07-22 17:56:14
108.   Eirias
Thanks Bobby, I knew I made the right choice.
2008-07-22 17:56:19
109.   monkeypants
98 Your unconditional love is rewarded!
2008-07-22 17:56:30
110.   Biscuit Pants
Sweet as . . .
2008-07-22 17:56:46
111.   nick
Bobby baby!
2008-07-22 17:56:52
112.   ms october
bobby!!! that was ripped.

97 i mostly like him.

2008-07-22 17:56:56
113.   cult of basebaal
that's 2 stolen bases wasted by the lousy calls to hit and run.
2008-07-22 17:57:07
114.   tommyl
Robbie needs to go boom here. He's due, its been like 4 ABs since his last one.
2008-07-22 17:57:22
115.   Jeb
104 105 106 I have to remember NOT to hit refresh on the banter while watching on MLBTV. I knew about the homer from the reaction of you guys before I saw it.
2008-07-22 17:57:44
116.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
Bobby must be buttah cause he's on a PHAT roll! BOO-Yah!!! (any other 1990s phrases to add?)
2008-07-22 17:57:49
117.   cult of basebaal
113 well,'s interminable lag made me look stupid ...


2008-07-22 17:57:56
118.   Biscuit Pants
Slowey might be done-y
2008-07-22 17:58:58
119.   Biscuit Pants
116 Stu, what are you doing in Tokyo?
2008-07-22 17:59:34
120.   tommyl
Lemmiwinks! I love it 117
2008-07-22 18:00:18
121.   tommyl
Need some insurance runs. Pen=Robertson/Edwar, Veras, Mo? or is Kyle in there somewhere?
2008-07-22 18:00:38
122.   Eirias
What is the worst pitcher's name? Slowey? Hacker?
2008-07-22 18:00:43
123.   ms october
116 sloweys' going to bounce

112 oh and i was referring to 98 booby - not jeter -

2008-07-22 18:00:50
124.   Jeb
Reyes truly has the mumps..MUMP power.
2008-07-22 18:01:02
125.   RIYank
There's your SB, Baal!
2008-07-22 18:01:13
126.   Eirias
Now that was home cooking.
2008-07-22 18:01:31
127.   Biscuit Pants
Is Denys Reyes' nickname El Guapacito?
2008-07-22 18:01:41
128.   tommyl
Hey this A-Rod kid is pretty good. We should hang on to him.

In all seriousness, its unreal how good A-Rod is at every single aspect of baseball (well not popups). Its insane.

2008-07-22 18:02:02
129.   Eirias
123 Booby doesn't mind.
2008-07-22 18:02:11
130.   cult of basebaal
122 balfour.
2008-07-22 18:03:18
131.   RIYank
128 I know, I don't think I ever saw a Yankee who was genuinely a "five tool" player until A-Rod.
This will be embarrassing if I've forgotten one.
2008-07-22 18:03:24
132.   monkeypants
122 Eric Plunk, as I get all retro and old school on you...
2008-07-22 18:04:05
133.   OldYanksFan
I think for any player who is underperforming, it should be mandatory to workout with ARod. Sleepovers however, can be optional.
2008-07-22 18:04:30
134.   Biscuit Pants
131 Karim Garcia?
2008-07-22 18:04:45
135.   tommyl
131 How old are you? Too far back for me but I'd think Mickey Mantle and DiMaggio qualify for sure.
2008-07-22 18:05:16
136.   tommyl
133 But you get the Kabbalah slump buster special if you do!
2008-07-22 18:05:33
137.   OldYanksFan
131 Well Mantle was a 5 tool player with + power, + speed and a + arm.
2008-07-22 18:05:55
138.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
119 i'm cool like the flip side of the pillow, BP! (ok, enough channelling old Sportscenter..)
2008-07-22 18:06:23
139.   Shaun P
131 Rickey.

134 Who now?

2008-07-22 18:06:58
140.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
132 wasn't PLunk part of the Rickey deal?? shudder...
2008-07-22 18:07:14
141.   Shaun P
122 Before his recent run of greatness:


2008-07-22 18:07:18
142.   tommyl
134 So perfect at 134 too.
2008-07-22 18:07:33
143.   Biscuit Pants
Ruben Rivera was a 5-tool player with + glove-stealing
2008-07-22 18:07:37
144.   tommyl
WHAT?! That was ball 4 for Rasner all fucking night.
2008-07-22 18:07:46
145.   RIYank
Yeah, I was in the Stadium as a small boy for Mantle, but don't remember him at all.

Rickey was closest, good.

2008-07-22 18:07:48
146.   cult of basebaal
139 did you ever see rickey throw?
2008-07-22 18:08:25
147.   RIYank
2008-07-22 18:08:30
148.   tommyl
Oh man, its sooooo nice to have Robbie back.
2008-07-22 18:08:32
149.   Just fair
I love me some Cano.
2008-07-22 18:08:34
150.   Jeb
131 Sandy Duncan? He had all the tools:

1. Sit on the bench
2. Throwing error
3. Strikeout for average
4. Strikeout for power
5. And he could run into the Rays Second baseman

Disclaimer: This is satire. I do not personally dislike Shelly Duncan. This post is not intended to be disparaging of any group as a whole or individual personally.

Show/Hide Comments 151-200
2008-07-22 18:08:37
151.   Schteeve
I wonder what Madonna has to say about A-Rod's tools... cheap, I just couldn't resist.

2008-07-22 18:08:55
152.   OldYanksFan
Fuckin' Cano is a machine!
2008-07-22 18:08:59
153.   Biscuit Pants
Where has he BEEN all season . . .
2008-07-22 18:09:08
154.   RichB
Cano hitting to left field?!?! He must be back.
2008-07-22 18:09:18
155.   Jeb
[147-149] NOTE TO SELF - wait for at-bats to end to hit refresh on the banter!
2008-07-22 18:09:19
156.   cult of basebaal
145 i think winfield was as close ...
2008-07-22 18:09:25
157.   DarrenF
131 Winfield.
2008-07-22 18:09:27
158.   monkeypants
139 I'm not sure Rickey would qualify as a five tool player. Could he throw?

140 And was it Plunk or Caderet or Polonia who was part of two Rickey trades?

2008-07-22 18:09:53
159.   tommyl
Damn, good swing Melky. Man Gomez is fast.
2008-07-22 18:09:56
160.   nemecizer
This core of this team looks better than they did in the first half. Two months ago Cano would have struck out or GIDP.
2008-07-22 18:10:00
161.   bobtaco
Have you guys seen the list of players at this year's Old Timer's Game?

Some first time appearances this year:

Don Baylor
Rickey Henderson
Ramiro Mendoza

and Wayne Tolleson!


2008-07-22 18:10:11
162.   nick
Robbie's got tool #1 working, that's for sure...
2008-07-22 18:10:18
163.   monkeypants
156 157 Good call!
2008-07-22 18:10:19
164.   ms october
when cano is on that is a beautiful swing - and i know i am not alone - weeping will agree with me.

melky is swinger a much better bat too - let's see how that goes.

2008-07-22 18:10:59
165.   Shaun P
146 Sadly, yes, many times. Arm aside, he was a damn fine fielder. Go check out his Rate at - its their free week! (Actually I think the Davenport Translation stuff is always free.)

2008-07-22 18:11:05
166.   tommyl
156 Yeah, Winfield was pretty damn good. Probably the best player I saw growing up with Rickey and Donnie right there.
2008-07-22 18:11:17
167.   Jeb
151 La Isla Cabrera.
2008-07-22 18:11:20
168.   cult of basebaal
157 that's more virgin's blood for the master someone owes me
2008-07-22 18:11:23
169.   DarrenF
131 If baseball smarts is a sixth tool, then ARod is a six-tool player. Two very intelligent plays in the field yesterday ... or maybe it was Sunday.
2008-07-22 18:12:47
170.   monkeypants
169 The seventh tool is baseball memory...
2008-07-22 18:13:01
171.   Jeb
158 It was all three of them. Plunk + Cadaret + Polonia for Rickey Henderson. I was actually happy because I thought that we were done and it was time to sell so we could rebuild. The problem was that we sold LOW.
2008-07-22 18:13:02
172.   cult of basebaal
165 but D and arm strength are separate tools ... rickey had one, but not the other.
2008-07-22 18:13:32
173.   RIYank

Just kidding, Jeb and Cult of BB. Ha ha.

2008-07-22 18:13:44
174.   Schteeve
Jeter was close to being a 5 tooler at one point in his career, no? Relative to his position?
2008-07-22 18:13:48
175.   Shaun P
156 157 Winfield probably takes the cake . . . THAT was an ARM.
2008-07-22 18:14:31
176.   Jeb
173 HA! I waited until Betemit flew out to hit refresh this time.
2008-07-22 18:14:54
177.   tommyl
Ok guys, 2 runs, 9 outs. Lets go.
2008-07-22 18:14:55
178.   RIYank
No wonder the guy has three agents. He needs them just to carry his freaking tools.
2008-07-22 18:15:35
179.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
just call Robby carwash cause the cat is AUTO-MATIC!
2008-07-22 18:15:38
180.   Biscuit Pants
171 The original trade was Plunk, Tim Birtsas, Stan Javier, Jay Howell and Jose Rijo for Henderson
2008-07-22 18:15:40
181.   nick
A-Rod is a legitimate six tool player, but the 7th tool is dating, &...
2008-07-22 18:15:49
182.   tommyl
174 Power never developed. His comparable is A-Rod at the same position. If he was hitting 30 HRs or so a year you could argue it, but not at 15 or so.
2008-07-22 18:16:12
183.   Biscuit Pants
179 I can't get behind that . . .
2008-07-22 18:16:22
184.   ms october
omg - hopefully nothing will happen to molina!
2008-07-22 18:16:29
185.   RIYank
Wait, why is Dave Robertson no longer in the game? His pitch limit is 1?
2008-07-22 18:16:47
186.   Jeb
By the way, I know that Donnie Baseball wasn't a 5 tooler player because of his lack of speed, but I'll never forget how absolutely great he was in 1984.

Speaking of Donnie -- I think he had a decent hitting streak in 1983 which would have been broken because of the Pine Tar game, but he actually had to come back and hit again in that infamous half inning game and he got out. I think he had a decent hitting strike in the interim and if you linked the two together he might have had 25 games or so. (Maybe I'm wrong b/c I'm basing this on memory alone).

2008-07-22 18:16:47
187.   Shaun P
158 Plunk.

171 monkeypants is referring to the fact that, to get Rickey Henderson from the A's, the Yanks gave up (among many others) Eric Plunk - and then of course re-acquired him from the A's in exchange for Rickey Henderson.

After he left the Yanks the 2nd time, he had a few years as a very good middle reliever for Cleveland. IIRC, he was the losing pitcher in a game of the '97 Serious.

2008-07-22 18:16:52
188.   Emma Span
Just out of curiosity, who IS the Yanks' emergency catcher these days? It used to be Shelley Duncan.
2008-07-22 18:16:59
189.   Schteeve
179 No way to control it?
2008-07-22 18:17:08
190.   OldYanksFan
169 Absoultely. I think there are guys like Junior who are more gifted, but ARod works so damn hard at being good. As lame as it was, the slap and even HA! are examples that he is always thinking. I love the guy. I just wish Melky would learn more from him.

By the by, on another blog, someone dubbed Melky as 'the Dopiest Player in Baseball'. A little cruel and maybe not quite fair, but Melky's talent is handicapped by his approach.

2008-07-22 18:17:30
191.   tommyl
Too early to scoreboard watch? Rays are down 3-1 in the 8th.
2008-07-22 18:17:45
192.   Jeb
180 I was only referring to the return trade.
2008-07-22 18:17:59
193.   RIYank
184 Why the hell don't we have four catchers on the team, for just such occasions??
2008-07-22 18:18:06
194.   cult of basebaal
179 sorry, he's the RIPPER to me.
2008-07-22 18:19:31
195.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
189 sorry, just heard that Stu Scott was quite ill...that true?? used to love watching those guys on Sprtscenter when I was in college..
2008-07-22 18:19:32
196.   RIYank
188 I think it's Betemit, actually, which is part of what makes Ms. Oct's joke funny.
2008-07-22 18:19:42
197.   monkeypants
171 I just checked BB Reference--It was Eric Plunk who was traded TWICE for Rickey: the Yankees traded him with a package of players for Rickey in 1984, and then the A's traded him back (+ Cadaret + Polonia) for Rickey in 1989.

By the way, the Yankees sure traded for/signed Luis Polonia a lot.

2008-07-22 18:19:46
198.   tommyl
188 That's a good question. LaTroy Hawkins? He's on the team for some reason, right?
2008-07-22 18:19:53
199.   cult of basebaal
nice to see girardi take a chance on breaking the game open by pinch hitting for moeller there and risking the miniscule chance that there might be an injury ... he's managing 2 catchers better than he did 3.
2008-07-22 18:20:39
200.   ms october
188 yesterday's hypothesis was betemit

190 i know i am mostly a melky supporter so can be a bit biased at times - but that is not fair. i think melky lacks fundamentals and i agree with you about his approach - he has not adjusted to what his strengths and weaknesses are

Show/Hide Comments 201-250
2008-07-22 18:20:49
201.   Eirias
So, for those who are members: how does one get a BP Coupon? I'd like to sign up for the site but a discount option is... intriguing.
2008-07-22 18:22:36
202.   ChrisS
Cano's splits are infuriating. But for as horrible it is to watch him struggling, watching him on fire is sooooo much fun.

The bullpen is really good.

2008-07-22 18:22:45
203.   tommyl
201 You have to correctly pronounce VORP and OPS ;)
2008-07-22 18:24:26
204.   cult of basebaal
203 psssst!

over here!

a secret!

if you say, "as in VORPal sword, you get the keys to the executive washroom!"

2008-07-22 18:24:46
205.   RIYank
203 Well, Murray Chass probably doesn't need a coupon anyway.
2008-07-22 18:24:50
206.   Eirias
203 I can even pronounce OPSTS.
2008-07-22 18:25:29
207.   Jeb
2008-07-22 18:25:33
208.   Eirias
204 Snicker-snack.
2008-07-22 18:25:50
209.   Eirias
207 Wait, what?
2008-07-22 18:25:56
210.   Schteeve
195 No no, I was just finishing the lyrics to the Pointer Sisters song...Automatic.
2008-07-22 18:26:19
211.   cult of basebaal
195 i wish no man well, but i once argued that stu scott was a lesser threat to civilization than skip bayless and i'll never live that down.

stu scott is the unholy antichrist of the four-letter network ...

2008-07-22 18:26:20
212.   monkeypants
199 Let's not get too excited...he's managing a game with Moeller starting. Let's see if does the same thing with Molina. I suspect that in Torre fashion Molina has become the starting catcher, which means you never PH for him. Moeller as the BUC can be PH for tactically. I hope i'm wrong.

188 198 Maybe Pudge Ponson? That would be sweet!

2008-07-22 18:26:44
213.   RIYank
Hey, Brett, look at that! It's first base!
2008-07-22 18:26:47
214.   Eirias
207 You'll pay for that.
2008-07-22 18:27:18
215.   Just fair
Gardner's approach seems to be, "Please don't throw me a strike so I have to swing."
2008-07-22 18:27:37
216.   RIYank
Hey, cool!

It's fun to have fast players.

2008-07-22 18:28:10
217.   Eirias
215 To be, well, fair, we'd be pretty pissed if he always swung at bad first pitches too.
2008-07-22 18:28:25
218.   monkeypants
209 He hit ground ball that bounced off of the catcher and was then booted by the the meanwhile he ran around the bases.

It was the second longest ball he hit all season.
We're kidding of course.

2008-07-22 18:28:28
219.   Jeb
207 haha. Just playing with my fellow MLBTV Gameday fans.
2008-07-22 18:28:52
220.   nick
Gardner's speed on the basepaths strikes terror into the opposition....on a weekly basis.
2008-07-22 18:29:04
221.   Eirias
219 Doesn't matter. You are still going to pay.
2008-07-22 18:29:20
222.   Eirias
221 When you least expect it.
2008-07-22 18:29:25
223.   ChrisS
Farns for the 8th and Mo for the 9th, I assume?
2008-07-22 18:29:39
224.   cult of basebaal
212 dammit! you're most likely right.
2008-07-22 18:30:34
225.   cult of basebaal


2008-07-22 18:30:48
226.   nick
Derek, allow me to assume the voice of Earl Weaver and tell you to stick the fucking sacrifice bunt up your ass....
2008-07-22 18:31:01
227.   RIYank
And speed on the base paths!!

(That one's serious, guys.)

2008-07-22 18:31:02
228.   tommyl
Yay! It's almost Kyle proof!
2008-07-22 18:31:04
229.   Just fair
Sweet. Atta boy, Cap'n.
2008-07-22 18:31:24
230.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
211 never seen Bayless but only heard terrible things about gotta love Stu. "Cano must be the bus driver cause he took Slowey to school!" I could go all night with this...
2008-07-22 18:31:33
231.   Eirias
219 "Jeb." Are you Mark Coughlin of 213 Starnes Avenue, Iselip, NY?
2008-07-22 18:31:34
232.   nemecizer
Now that was MUCH better than a sac bunt!
2008-07-22 18:31:37
233.   ms october
hey it's the yanks turn to fail to execute a bunt and then score runs by a hit.
2008-07-22 18:31:47
234.   nick
2008-07-22 18:32:08
235.   monkeypants
97 Kabbalah?!?
2008-07-22 18:32:33
236.   cult of basebaal
thank you derek.

see joey joe joe, bunting there was a stupid idea.

2008-07-22 18:33:34
237.   RIYank
Oh, now we're rocking! Bobby baby!
2008-07-22 18:33:36
238.   Eirias
Sweet as Candy.
2008-07-22 18:34:04
239.   Schteeve
so this is what the offense is supposed to look like.
2008-07-22 18:34:07
240.   Jeb

By the way, wouldn't it be nice to Have Jason Bay OR Holliday and then use Brett as our late inning pinch runner (as opposed to Mr. Fall down).

2008-07-22 18:34:53
241.   ChrisS
Ah, it's going to be one of those nights. I like those kinda nights.
2008-07-22 18:35:49
242.   RIYank
240 Yes, that would be cool. And what if he could bunt? Then he would be useful and fun to have.
Maybe next year.
2008-07-22 18:36:07
243.   Eirias
240 Ok. You're good, then.
2008-07-22 18:36:35
244.   tommyl
Oh man, so this is what the Yankees were supposed to be like all year? That would have been nice.
2008-07-22 18:36:58
245.   RIYank
231 240 Good guess, though.
You get four more guesses. I think you're going to get it, you were close.
2008-07-22 18:37:11
246.   nick
240 Are you, perchance J. Alfred Prufrock of Cambridge, MA?
2008-07-22 18:37:25
247.   Eirias
242 But can Jason Bay or Matt Holliday bunt? We'd be missing out on a key baseball tactic if they cannot.
2008-07-22 18:38:29
248.   RIYank
I am now listening to Sterling and following Gameday. I did this a lot last year. It's very nice, when we're winning.
2008-07-22 18:38:41
249.   monkeypants
242 And imagine a roster with 14 or 15 position players and only 10 or 11 pitchers!

You may say I'm a dreamer...

2008-07-22 18:38:49
250.   Eirias
Damn, I didn't even spell Islip correctly.
Show/Hide Comments 251-300
2008-07-22 18:38:56
251.   nemecizer
Oakland now up over Rays 7-1.
2008-07-22 18:39:43
252.   mehmattski
Hey everyone, just checking in, after watching most of the game sans internet. Looks like it's as lively as I expected with a winning streak.

2 65 Hybrid moss-yeast catchers? Sounds like something Robert Heinlein would enjoy... I bet that baseball players made out of chlorophyll would still run faster than a Molina, though...

2008-07-22 18:39:49
253.   monkeypants
248 I'm listening as well. Did Sterling just say something more or less intelligent about playing Giambi against both RHP and LHP?

Is that a sign of the apocalypse?

2008-07-22 18:39:56
254.   RIYank
247 They aren't very gritty. Neither of them. I haven't checked their bellies for guts, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were a little low on guts.
2008-07-22 18:40:55
255.   monkeypants
247 Baseball tool eight: grit and ability to bunt.
2008-07-22 18:41:32
256.   monkeypants
254 255 That's pretty freaky.
2008-07-22 18:42:10
257.   nick
how bout a Melky blast just for fun here?
2008-07-22 18:42:16
258.   Eirias
248 So you are willingly listening to the twin voices of Lucifer and Beelzebub? Did you know that playing their broadcasts backwards tells you to desecrate holy places? I'd expect this from cult of basebaal, but not you.
2008-07-22 18:42:29
259.   Just fair
No need to join in the fun, Melky. Maybe tomorrow.
2008-07-22 18:43:29
260.   Eirias
259 I keep telling everyone; you've got to save up your hits.
2008-07-22 18:44:41
261.   RIYank
248 Yes, he did.
The thing is, he's right about half the time. It's not like Tim McCarver or, say, Skip Bayless, whom you can count on absolutely to be wrong. That's why Sterling is less useful than Bayless.
2008-07-22 18:44:52
262.   ms october
254 255 that gritty baseball tool is really helped if you played football at one time - extra credit if you were a punter
2008-07-22 18:45:20
263.   mehmattski
246 LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
2008-07-22 18:45:21
264.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
good feeling about 2nd half-Melky, like smokin man at a gas station he's about to blow UP! (ok, that retires the Stu Scott-isms for the evening..)
2008-07-22 18:46:04
265.   Max
259 I wondered why they even bothered to pitch to Cano, with the black hole trio behind him. The guy is so hot that they should just concede (even though Melky has been mildly improved since the break).
2008-07-22 18:46:04
266.   RIYank
258 Sure, the whole desecration thing, but what do you expect broadcasters to talk about between pitches?
2008-07-22 18:46:17
267.   monkeypants
I like the move to get Sexson--low cost flyer who may pay off as a platoon asset. However, Sexson as a LIDR? I'm not so sure.
2008-07-22 18:47:57
268.   cult of basebaal
230 no, i don't.


between the lazy eye, the bullshit lame attempts at being "street", the utter lack of insight, the "booyahs" and his godawful attempts at "rap poetry", he's hackneyed, tired and the quintessential encapsulation of what's wrong with ESPN.

and don't even get me started on skip bayless, though interested parties can check out the finals of The Road From Bristol's "Worst Sports Media Personality" back in 2005

2008-07-22 18:47:59
269.   RIYank
In the room the women come and go
Talking of Jerry Colangelo.
2008-07-22 18:48:26
270.   Eirias
Oh, did LaTroy pitch 2 innings yesterday? Darn.
2008-07-22 18:50:24
271.   cult of basebaal

After such knowledge, what forgiveness? Think now
History has many cunning passages, contrived corridors
And issues, deceives with whispering ambitions,
Guides us by vanities. Think now
She gives when our attention is distracted
And what she gives, gives with such supple confusions
That the giving famishes the craving. Gives too late
What's not believed in, or if still believed,
In memory only, reconsidered passion. Gives too soon
Into weak hands, what's thought can be dispensed with
Till the refusal propagates a fear. Think
Neither fear nor courage saves us. Unnatural vices
Are fathered by our heroism. Virtues
Are forced upon us by our impudent crimes.
These tears are shaken from the wrath-bearing tree.

2008-07-22 18:50:45
272.   cult of basebaal
269 =)
2008-07-22 18:50:58
273.   nick
269 Since June the women come and go
Talking of Robinson Cano!
2008-07-22 18:51:47
274.   mehmattski
This is the way the Twins lose
This is the way the Twins lose
This is the way the Twins lose

Not with a bang, but with a whimper...

2008-07-22 18:52:08
275.   RIYank
271 No fair changing poems.
2008-07-22 18:53:22
276.   RIYank
Wow, three Eliot poems. And the only three I know, too.

Ah, Kyle with a K!

2008-07-22 18:54:15
277.   nick

we tie the Twins with this win and go 2.5 back of Boston...

2008-07-22 18:54:25
278.   RIYank
Somehow the whole concept of "Farnsproof" has lost its edge.
2008-07-22 18:55:18
279.   cult of basebaal
more good work from girardi, the acknowledged "farnswhisperer"
2008-07-22 18:55:30
280.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
268 i'll check out that link, thanks.
Stu's "street" pose kept us all in hysterics at the time though...
2008-07-22 18:56:36
281.   Just fair
For someone who could hardly ever get a 1,2,3 inning last year, I am happy for ol' Farnsy.
2008-07-22 18:57:03
282.   mehmattski
Kyle Farnsworth's second longest hitless streak was 4 2/3 innings to end the 2003 season.
2008-07-22 18:58:16
283.   Max
We came from behind, and had two consecutive multiple run innings. We had hits with RISP, extra base hits at that. Our bullpen is blowing away the opposing batters. We are about to go ten games over .500.

I think my head is going to explode with all the rare phenomena I'm witnessing.

2008-07-22 18:58:20
284.   RIYank
281 Uh. That wasn't a 1-2-3 inning. But it was still really good pitching.
2008-07-22 18:58:59
285.   Eirias
Without fear, I answer you.
2008-07-22 19:00:28
286.   monkeypants
278 279 Who knows, maybe Farnsy is just settling back into his old sucking-efective-every-other-year pattern, after a little hiccup in 2006-2007.
2008-07-22 19:02:49
287.   Just fair
284 Word. I know. I just can't believe he has gone 9 ip without allowing a hit.
2008-07-22 19:03:06
288.   cult of basebaal
280 i wasted a fair amount of time, at the time of the tournament thinking up ways to describe how horrible i found skip bayless ... i think this was the nicest:

"I think I'd rather take a sponge bath in the collected pus of 1000 Ebola victims, with full knowledge of certain horrible painful death that would occur when my internal organs liquified and ran in bloody rivers from every pore and orifice of my body, than ever, Ever, EVER subject myself again to the sight, sounds or words of Skip Bayless."

2008-07-22 19:05:00
289.   RIYank
288 That comment was too gross, and also, by an astounding coincidence, two gross.
2008-07-22 19:05:20
290.   mehmattski
If I were writing for a major baseball blog or newspaper, I would be hoping for Dan Geise to fail. The headline puns are endless...
2008-07-22 19:07:53
291.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
288 you now have made me want to experience Bayless for myself! will check for some clips
2008-07-22 19:08:19
292.   Jeb
ok, if we're going to be literary here on the banter, I suggest everyone check out this thread:

My favorite literary reference is the following (and I apologize for the length, but this is really funny. there's also a funny story about jeter turning into a cockroach with range at shortstop).

"In my younger and more vulnerable years my manager gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.

"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone," he told me, "just remember that all the people in this league haven't had the advantages that you've had."

He didn't say any more but we've always been unusually communicative in a reserved way and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence I'm inclined to reserve all judgements, a habit that has opened up many curious rookies to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran retread bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in the minors I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown pitchers. Most of the confidences were unsought -- frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the horizon -- for the intimate revelations of young ballplayers or at least the terms in which they express them are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions. Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as Joe Torre snobbishly suggested and I snobbishly repeat, a sense of the fundamental decencies is parcelled out unequally in the amateur draft.

And, after boasting this way of my tolerance, I come to the admission that it has a limit. Conduct may be founded on the infield dirt or the outfield grass but after a certain point I don't care what it's founded on. When I came back from the Yankees this autumn I felt that I wanted the world to be in baseball uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever; I wanted no more riotous excursions with privileged glimpses into the human heart. Only A-Rod, the man who gives his name to this book, was exempt from my reaction -- A-Rod who represented everything for which I have an unaffected scorn. If baseball is an unbroken series of successful statistics, then there was something gorgeous about him, some heightened sensitivity to the promises of life, as if he were related to one of those intricate machines that register pitch speeds a hundred feet away. This responsiveness had nothing to do with that flabby passivity which is dignified under the name of "plate discipline" -- it was an extraordinary power stroke, a swing of smoothness such as I have never found in any other person and which it is not likely I shall ever find again. No -- A-Rod turned out all right at the end; it is what preyed on A-Rod, what foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded elations of baseball."

2008-07-22 19:08:32
293.   Eirias
290 All I can think of are derivatives of two concepts: "Geise is cooked" and "Geise can." I need more. Any takers?
2008-07-22 19:08:49
294.   monkeypants
289 Well played!
2008-07-22 19:09:13
295.   Eirias
And we win!
2008-07-22 19:09:48
296.   OldYanksFan
Queens Suicide Alert:
Santana goes 8 and gives up 2 to put the Mets up 5-2. The BP then gives up 6 in the top of the 9th against Phily.
2008-07-22 19:09:58
297.   RIYank
2008-07-22 19:10:46
298.   mehmattski
293 Something about goose-stepping, and definitely something about flying south for the winter.
2008-07-22 19:11:41
299.   Max
63 Going back to Gameday, I don't think it's simply data entry lag or incompetence, because it was never this bad when Gameday was "2D". Their indicators of different aspects of the game fall out of sync a few times a game.

There's an overhead view on the left that tells you who's on base (if anyone). There's a status bar on top that tells you the count and how many outs there are. There's the actual graphic of the batter and pitcher with the animations and the pitch locations. There's the pitch by pitch description. And there's the summary of what happened with each batter after the at-bat is completed.

Too often, I'll find out that there are already two outs while the current at bat is going on, and there's no indication of what happened with the previous batter. Or I'll look at the overhead view and see that someone is on base (like Damon in the last half inning), but I never saw the pitch by pitch with Damon -- it just vaporized.

By the time you're told by Gameday that Damon walked, Jeter has gone ahead and struck out. I think I may actually go back to listening to you said, it's more fun (or at least bearable) when we're on a roll like we are now.

Five in a row -- didn't need Gameday to figure that out! :-)

2008-07-22 19:12:28
300.   Eirias
Can anyone remember many times later, Mo excused, where you thought... damn, we have a great bullpen?
Show/Hide Comments 301-350
2008-07-22 19:14:29
301.   Just fair
296 Seinfeld alert. "That's a shame." : )
2008-07-22 19:15:08
302.   RIYank
I hate to break it to you guys, but his name is "Giese".
2008-07-22 19:15:09
303.   Schteeve
300 I believe Graeme Lloyd pitched for us the last time I thought that.
2008-07-22 19:16:31
304.   mehmattski
292 Or, as Derek "Hemmingway" Jeter would write:

"First we were friends. Then he was kind of a dick. But now I see he hits baseballs very far. So he's pretty good, I guess."

2008-07-22 19:17:04
305.   Jeb
Mariners already losing in the first. Can't they even try to play? Could they just win one damn game at home against a team with a 22-32 road record? Would that be too much to ask of them?
2008-07-22 19:17:19
306.   Schteeve
And Oakland beat Tampa!
2008-07-22 19:17:39
307.   Jeb
304 seriously, check out that thread because it's hysterical.
2008-07-22 19:17:56
308.   monkeypants
300 Hell, the bullpen has been so strong, with another arm at least coming soon (Bruney), I wonder if the team shouldn't totally forget about acquiring another starter this season. Instead, go with the current three starters and two pseudo-starters, hoping to get at least four innings out of the back of the rotation guys. Meanwhile, just ride the BP until september call ups, two or three guys every night on a rotation.

If teams insist on going with 12 or 13 man pitching staffs, they might as well take full advantage of the rare, really deep BP. This is a heckuvalot better than carrying a useless LOOGY and burying two or three other guys.

2008-07-22 19:18:42
309.   Mr OK Jazz TOKYO
305 Mariners a sad excuse for a team right now..still in shock at Cairo DHing!

poor Johan..guy can't get a break..

2008-07-22 19:20:37
310.   monkeypants
305 Go easy on the M's--they rolled over for the Yankees back when that was the only team the Yanks could beat.
2008-07-22 19:21:22
311.   Jeb
perhaps the Mariners should drink the Botox and be done with it.
2008-07-22 19:21:22
312.   Schteeve
308 You. You're good you.
2008-07-22 19:21:27
313.   cult of basebaal
307 yeah, this post from Guapo might be the best:

One morning, Derek Jeter awoke to discover that he had transformed into a giant cockroach. The clutchest cockroach ever. He rolled out of bed, ignoring the screams from the nubile Maxim covergirl lying next to him, and quickly donned his uniform as best he could in his current condition. Today was opening day and he had to go to Yankee Stadium to play against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

A quiet murmur circulated through the stands as the Yankee fans contemplated Derek fielding practice grounders before the game. The only indication that this was, in fact, the Yankee captain that they had grown to know and idolize was the familiar "2" on the back of his jersey. In the press box, Michael Kay looked down at the giant cockroach and felt a certain kinship that he couldn't quite explain.

The game began. The Yankee fans began their usual roll call of the players, but instead of "De-rek Jet-er" they chanted "Gi-ant ####-roach." Obviously, they had decided to go with it. Derek discreetly tipped his hat, revealing two long antenna that bounced around slightly in the cool April breeze that blew through Yankee Stadium.

The leadoff hitter for the Devil Rays, a short, unhappy man who secretly desired to be a concert pianist, grounded a ball sharply up the middle. In the past, this had been Derek's only weakness, the groundball that required him to range to his left and dive. Now, however, as a giant cockroach, diving was no longer necessary. Derek deftly scuttled to his left, cleanly picked off the ball with his glove, and fired a strike to first, beating the runner by half a step. As the crowd roared its approval, Derek fist-pumped three of his legs. It was going to be a good season.

2008-07-22 19:22:31
314.   Eirias
300 By later, I meant last year.
2008-07-22 19:24:27
315.   monkeypants
Meanwhile, Rogers Sports Net here in Canada does a weird thing. They have the Blue Jays on from 7:00-10:00. Then they have a highlight show on 10:00-10:30, like sports center. Then they cut to a west coast game already in progress at 10;30.

This is not an accident--they do this every night. Anyway, I get to watch the Sox-Ms now. Go Mariners!

309 I would say that it's baffling, but then again, we witnessed some pretty peculiar Cairo shenanigans.

2008-07-22 19:25:03
316.   Jeb
313 I love the part about Michael Kay looking down at the giant cockroach and feeling "a certain kinship that he couldn't quite explain" That's funny as hell.
2008-07-22 19:27:26
317.   monkeypants
312 Thank you?
2008-07-22 19:28:47
318.   Jeb
I have to temper our enthusiasm a little. We're streaking. Up until last week, we were pretty damn mediocre. Granted the team seems to have "found" itself. But we have a tough schedule coming up, we'll get more road games too, and Jorge is likely done. And we're still trotting Snacks and D-Raz out there for another 22 starts this year.

If we're really in it this season, it's time to make a trade now, while we are "seemingly" not desperate. Cash-money -- Go get us Jason Bay. And then let's get a pitcher (either from AAA or from another team).

I am hopeful though. And I really haven't felt that way for a sustained period of time since last year.

2008-07-22 19:32:38
319.   Jeb
318 By the way, since Anaheim (or whatever their damn name is) its Pythag record by a whopping 7 games, maybe the Angels correction to the mean will come against us?
2008-07-22 19:34:53
320.   mehmattski
318 I'd like to know a bit more about Johnny Damon's ability to hit and play left field before acquiring a bat. Bay is a terrible fielder and the offensive upgrade over Brett Gardner may be somewhat offset by a defensive downgrade.

It's right to be hopeful. Depending what happens with Boston-Seattle, the Yankees close today's game 3.5 games back in the AL East, perhaps as close as 1.5 games back in the wild card.

But the players that are currently on the team are the ones who have engineered this comeback. I'm hesitant to sacrifice the future for the sake of tinkering; if the answer comes without much cost (in prospects or in future contract ugliness), I'd be much more on board.

2008-07-22 19:37:55
321.   monkeypants
New thread up already! Perhaps banter and good feelings will continue there...

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