The Sarah Bernhardt comparison is right on target, but despite her shared flair for the melodramatic with Boy Genius, I don't think Miz B ever donned a gorilla suit (at least not on her own volition, and certainly not for free).

Man, will these prima donnas save any drama for the field this year?

There's an even weirder development in the Yanksox soap opera today:
As A-Waffle ("leggo my fragile ego") tossed about in his tortured psyche, struggling to decide whether to accept a starring role in Bud Selig's "Intergalactic Baseball Extravaganza," and, if so, for which team (Sharks or Jets?), he sought the wise counsel of Manny "Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now" Ramirez.
"Manny, Manny, on the wall, for which team should I answer the call?"
We can laugh about these guys all day, as we pay them $20-million a year to play our favorite game.

Man, what're you reading that a-hole Shaughnessy for? He hates the Sox more than the NY Times hates the Yanks. (Wait, I just answered my own question...)

"Manny, Manny, on the wall ..."

Pfffttt ....

Now that was funny.

At this point in the year, any baseball news is welcome while we count down the days to P&C's.

A-Rod asking Manny for advice. Jeter must be quietly laughing his *ss off (while getting a generous rubdown from a brunette hottie). Geez.

BP

Boooooring!

Tee Hee Tee Hee. Bwahahahahaha!
There's just going to be too much ego in the RS front office. Who's going to call the shots, who gets to make trades. I predict a tumultuos season for Boston, which is good news for the Yankees.

Great title (as always).

It's really comical to listen to WEEI and all the local fans saying this is a "great move". Can you just imagine ...
a) the power struggles that will happen ?
b) the "explaining" of the moves the Sox have/haven't made over the past 2 months ?

is it me or is this really laughable, especially in light of the moves the Yanks have made?

many fans here (Boston) believe that the Sox pitching (or potential pitching- barring injury) is VASTLY superior....I say no way !

Theo's got his feet planted firmly in quicksand. I know his vacillation and ambivalence is news worthy but what I can't figure out is why or how anyone can muster enough energy or concern to get pissed-off over it. He isn't the first thirty-something year old single guy who can't decide what he wants to do with himself and he won't be the last. If you think about it he's acting pretty normally especially when you take his background into account. Well, other than the gorilla suit maybe. In a weird way I feel kind of sorry for him, his situation doesn't sound like a prescription for happiness. I guess you can say if he's going through hell its his own fault. But that's the thing about hell, when we're there its usually through our own doing.

You know what ? I don't feel sorry for him at all. He made his bed, now he can sleep in it. When I was confused as to career moves, etc at that age....I was making about 30K a year and AFRAID of a paycut !

Does he want to be a rock star ? Does he want to work with third world nations ? Does he want to be a GM ?

One thing about Cashman, you always knew what he wanted to do .... feet firmly planted on the ground .... even if getting knocked around by George or the Tampa crew.

I see the boy in the gorilla suit as Kid Kong. But in the implausible Boston version of the beauty and the beast tale, Kid Kong survives his suicidal leap from the John Hancock Tower, and now all the Fay Wray BoSox fans are nestled in his palm again. Convoluted happy ending to a mid-winter's nightmare in Boston.

I understand why Kid Kong is regarded as a hero in Boston, but if Cashman pulled a jerkoff stunt like that, I don't think Yankee fans would be celebrating his "triumphant return" to the Bronx stage, no matter how many championships he has on his resume. Clearly, Boston fans are bred to be more patient than Yankee fans (you know, like camels are better suited for drought conditions).

Joe in Boston, we have to admit the Sox pitching staff looks better built for the long haul (and a short playoff series) than the Yankee arsenal. Going into this season, I'd give the Old Towne starters a slight advantage over the Yanks, on paper anyway (based on age, and overall stats). The bullpens look similarly vulnerable or reliable (depending on your perspective) with the notable exception of Mariano Rivera, who thankfully remains a tremendous advantage for the Yanks. I expect the Yankee bats will be far more productive than the Boston bashers.
Watch out for the Toronto pitchers waiting in the wings, too. This is going to be fun.

Who knew the day would come when New York Yankees would be the one of the most stable front offices in MLB? Boy, how the worm turns.

wsporter, below you asked if I was surprised by Theo's return, the answer is "yes." Even though I try to play the cynic, I am constantly surprised by humanity in general. Either this was one major power play by Theo or he is one confused individual. Whatever the case, I won't the mistake of taking anything Epstein says at face value ever again.

"One thing about Cashman, you always knew what he wanted to do .... feet firmly planted on the ground .... even if getting knocked around by George or the Tampa crew."

Agreed. My appreciation for Cashman grows.

A-Rod asking Manny for advice? Ummm, lots of therapy for you, Rodriguez.

Johnny Damon asked Manny for advice, too, before he signed with the Yanks. For a guy with a space cadet persona, he's been performing a lot of oracle work lately.

Simone, I know the Yanks look relatively stable right now, but I think it might be a stretch to call them one of the most stable in the game. After all, just last winter, the various factions of the front office managed to mangle a golden opportunity, one that only a team of the Yankees' great resources were able to survive without being totally sunk. I mean, they dole out dumb money for Pavano, Wright, and, to a lesser extent, Womack, while passing up on Carlos Beltran, a guy who would have solved a gaping problem for them. (Damon is good but not as promising as Beltran.)

Relative is the right word. Right now, the Sox, who are most likely suffering the spoils of victory--in the form of huge, competing egos. Maybe it spells bad things for the team. Then again, maybe it won't.

"No, it isn't very pretty what a town without pity can do." What's the rumpus? Did anyone out here materially change their position or suffer some sort of loss based on what Theo said? What's the big freaking deal? Either the kid changed his mind or leveraged his position. Either way there's nothing new there. Is there?

I do agree, this makes Cashman look even better. Its nice to be a paragon of stability in a crazy world.

My general impression is that the only change that might occur as a result of Theo's return is Larry's departure, which was probably an inevitability anyway.

In terms of baseball personnel decisions, Hoyer and Cherrington (is that his name?) were conducting Theo-esque moves this off-season. It seems to me they'll chug along as usual with Theo back on.

"Johnny Damon asked Manny for advice, too, before he signed with the Yanks."

Did it go something like this?

"GET OUT!!! LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!! IT'S A MAAAAAAAADHOUSEE!!!!!"

Pathalogical Sox fan that I am, I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

But please, PLEASE don't take Shaughnessy and Massarotti as representative of Sox fans. I realize it's true what you said, that Shaughnessy is more closely identified with the Red Sox than any other writer, but most Sox fans I know (myself included) would give anything to make that NOT the case.

The Treasury Dept decided to let Cuba play in the WBC. At least it's a full competition now. Look for the Americans to get waxed.

What's most surprising about all of this is really how public it all got. Of course it's easy to see why Shaughnessy is such a putz - he stoked the flames by acting as the medium for the Larry leaks (remember right about when the extension was about signed) and now calls out the organization for being "embarassing".

Hey, entertaining to be sure. But I'd still take trades like Loretta and Beckett over some of our recent ones. For all the stability in Yankee land, Cash's decisions this off-season smell like OPP.

Bob Klapisch has a piece on the Yankees' newfound stability over at ESPN. He makes some good points.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=klapisch_bob&id=2298669

OK, this is just going to piss Rob Gee off to no end but I have to pull this line from the Klapisch piece:

"It was Cashman who single-handedly kept the Yankees from trading for Milton Bradley during the winter meetings."

I'm guessing this might lead to a Rob Gee-led petition.

If Shaugh. wants embarassing, he need only read his column from July(?) predicting the Red Sox to repeat.

2

Mike, a rant from you is in order.

Old Bob is a bit too generous with his predictions of the Yankees runnning away with the division, not that I would mind.

Nick, you totally beat me to that, I saw that line and thought the same thing. Personally stepped in, huh? I guess it just was not fated to be Rob (thankfully). But if Cashman is found floating face down in the east river, i think we know who to look at...

As I see it in Klapisch's article the key sentence is: "Steinbrenner vowed to transfer the team's day-to-day authority to Cashman, and has so far lived up to his word." The key phrase: "so far".

I think Klapisch must know Rob Gee. Why he wants to make him go nuts is another matter.

George is going to have relinquish overall control someday anyway - this is a good test of things to come...

Glad ya'll are having so much fun at my expense. So many smiles in Yankeeland. Klapisch is a putz too. Why is it when guys move up the ladder and get access, they become sniveling little biatches? I think the better ones on this scale are Bill Simmons and Goldman to a degree. Please, please, please keep it real for us Alex.

Fact is:

a) I knew Cash wouldn't get MIL-ton
b) I also knew that MIL-ton damn well should be on the team, most certainly as a 4th OF.
c) MB could be had for .5 of a AA prospect and 3mil a year.
d) Cash is a mediocre GM
e) Cash is knee-deep in OPP
f) I'm going insane whenever Crazy Uncle MIL-ton is mentioned
g) MIL-ton will haunt me all season long
h) MB will post solid numbers and be a solid citizen
i) Our OF in 2009 will include Johnny Damon
j) next up in OPP land - Ichiro
k) I'll finally see MIL-ton in Pinstripes in 2008 as an OPP free agent

Thanks kids for bringing cheer on this Friday! Keep laughing at this sad sad clown...

"Klapisch is a putz too." Man that's beautiful. I think we all obviously agree that a low key understated approach is best.

Yo Rob, I sure will try my best. And expect you to call me on the carpet if you think I'm slipping.

"I'm guessing this might lead to a Rob Gee-led petition."

Which I would gladly sign. The thought of Milton patrolling CF for the Yanks scares the crap out of me...but not as much as Damon doing the same during his twilight years.

Personally, I don't see this as a big deal. Shaughnessy gets more tiring by the hour.

The Sox have had a fine winter. The defense is stronger all around. The pitching has been bolstered top to bottom. The batting order is only weaker in the 8 hole, with Cora replacing Mueller. (Can Stern be worse than Bellhorn? He can be Bellhorn's equal, but can hardly be worse.)

As for the leadoff spot, Damon was projected by Shandler to have an OPS of .787 before he signed with NY. Shandler now projects him at a rather pedestrian .761 with the Fenway bump removed. Shandler projects Youkilis at .850.

The Sox are still a work in progress, but they're a better team than the one that won 95 games last year.

with the team the Red Sox have now I can't see them finishing higher then 3rd place

jdsarduy,

Since the Sox finished in a tie for first last year, can you please explain where they're weaker this year.

Starting pitching? Which pitcher or pitchers who helped them finish where they did will not be returning.
Relief pitching? Which effective reliever or relievers will not be returning?
Defense? At what position are they weaker defensively?
Batting order? Other than the eight hole, where is the offense weaker?

I don't see the Sox winning 95+ games with their current roster. I agree that they have upgraded their pitching staff, but so have Toronto and the Yankees (albeit ever-so-slightly). The AL East will be tougher, top-to-bottom this year. Also, maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see how losing Damon in any way improves their offense. And I think most of RSN would agree with me on that point, considering all the shirt- burning-in-effigy that's going on.

debris

The Red Sox # 3,4,5 starters are 500. or under, just like they were last yr. They didn't improve their bullpen, who will close games for them? Foulke? He's not the stopper he was in 2004 and will never be. This is a team that really struggled towards the end of the season last yr to blow a lead in the AL and finished in 2nd place, not in a tie.
Their line up is weaker and they have no CF and SS. But of course, all this goes without saying, if you know your baseball I wouldn't have to pint this out.

debris,

No matter how you spin it, I dont think the offense of the Red Sox is as good as it was last year. Replacing Johnny Damon would be tough, he had an .800 + OPS for a CFer. Renteria did not have a good year, but Graffanino had a very good year to basically cancel that. Mueller was his usual steady self, and my guess is Lowell is not really an improvement.Youkilis over Millar is definitely an improvement, I will grant you that. Loretta should also be pretty good, unless there are significant health issues there.

Red Sox still has David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez playing for them. However, I expect significant decline from Jason Varitek, given his age and his second half struggles last year. The bench is worse than last year, but it doesnt really matter much.

As for pitching, Sox bullpen is definitely improved, but a lot depends on potential contribution from Keith Foulke. The starting rotation, well, Schilling is as big a question mark as any in the Yankee rotation. Wells is a smart pitcher, if he is around, he will pitch effecively. Clement was otherworldly for the Sox for a significant period, and will have to replicate that. Beckett, if healthy, seems like a significant addition. Wakefield-Arroyo should do what number fives do, and maybe some more.

Debris,
A few days ago, you gave the sox an "A" for not overspending on Damon. How in the world can you give out this grade when they're still without a CF? The lease on my apartment expired two months ago, and my landlord tried to charge me what in my opinion was $200 per month more than market value. Well, after not complying with his demand and patting myself on the back for not "overspending" on a dependable, perfectly located apartment, I realized that I was F***ing homeless! But you're right, I get an A for not overspending!!

jdsarduy,

Specfics, my man, specifics - "The Red Sox # 3,4,5 starters are 500. or under, just like they were last yr." The only difference in the pitching staff between now and last year is that Schilling is healthy and they've added Beckett. Is Schilling a stud? Who knows. My point is that the only difference between now and last year is the upgrades.

"They didn't improve their bullpen, who will close games for them?" Again, the only difference between now and last year is that Foulke will possibly be healthy and the additions of Mota, Seanez, Hansen, DelCarmen, and Tavarez. They won 95 with Embree and Mantei.

"not in a tie" The Sox won 95 games. How many did the Yanks win?

"Their line up is weaker." Where is the lineup weaker? Youkilis projects to get on base at a much better clip than Damon, Loretta is a huge upgrade over Renteria, Lowell can't possibly be worse than Millar 2005, and Bellhorn hit ninth. I assume that Adam Stern, who won't be their CF by opening day, is no worse than Bellhorn 2005. They are weaker, yes, in the 8 slot.

And the defense has been upgraded hugely at every infield position.

Sam,

Graffanino played 1/3 of the season, Bellhorn 2/3. Overall 2b production was pretty grim.

I grant you replacing Damon at the leadoff slot would be tough, if they didn't have Youkilis. If you look at the Sox position-by-position, the picture, because of SS and CF, isn't pretty. But if you look at it by viewing the lineup, because of the gaping holes last year at 1b and 2b, they look to be in fine shape.

They also appear to be closing in on Coco Crisp. My only concern with Crisp is that they might be tempted to lead him off and hit Youkilis down in the order, which would be quite a mistake.

ATC,

I gave the Sox an overall grade of incomplete.

Your apartment analogy works quite well, providing you don't plan to sleep until April 1.

Brock,

You are absolutely right about the difficulty in winning 95 games in a much tougher division. Even the DRays, as they mature should be a tougher team.

Losing Damon, of course, doesn't help the Sox offense in 2006, though the acquisition, should it occur, of Coco Crisp, will more than mitigate that. Crisp was a better hitter than Damon in 2005 and is six years younger, not to mention many millions cheaper.

Signing Damon would have hurt the team in 2008 and 2009 and would have inhibited the Sox in the free agent market in 2007. It only hurts the Sox for one year and, with Youkilis up top and Crisp in center, they should be well covered.

They Yankees will have to deal with Damon in 2008 and 2009, which is fine, because they are quite used to having expensive players who used to be quite good.

Debris, the only other thing Boston needs to do to improve is to lose Manny Rodriguez and David Ortiz. There are guys in the minor leagues who can replace them for less money and use X-Ray Vision to steal signs.

In two years when all of Boston's roster has been replaced by feral cats, they are projected to win 170 regular season games by a reliable source.

Debris,

Fair point, I think Youkilis should be allright. However, acuiring Crisp is going to be tougher. I do believe that the Indian FO knows what it is doing, unlike the Padre or the Braves FO. The Sox has to part with significant value. And even Jayson Stark thinks that getting Crisp is going to be difficult.

But, a major assumption is production stays same for Manny, Ortiz, Varitek and Nixon. At least in the latter case, it is unlikely to be. And this year, the backup is John Flaherty, although Red Sox could do the smart thing of actually giving Shoppach a chance. Nixon's numbers are in a steady decline from 2003: OPS+ of 149/123(167 ABs)/112(470 ABs). His SLG numbers show a serious declining trend as well. And Loretta will have a high OBP, but it is always a bad sign when a 34 year old is going into the season with his last season OBP higher than his SLG numbers. Fenway should help, because Loretta is a doubles hitter, but age is not on his side.

And I dont expect Lowell to produce as well as Bill Mueller either.

He's right, the defense has improved at every position. Having no shortstop is better than having Renteria.