Baseball Toaster: Bronx Banter : Return Serve

Hot from the Toaster

Toaster Sites
Baseball Toaster
Toaster.TV

Suggested Reading

Alex:
Ray Negron part 1 2 3 4
Dad, Reggie and Me
Slaughterhouse Five
Way Out in Brooklyn
Heat Fave
Passing
Love, Death and Baseball

Cliff:
The Ugly Truth About the New Yankee Stadium
First-Half Review
2008 Draft Roundup
July Farm Report
2008 Campers
All-Star Game: 1977, 2008
The Holy "Trinity": 1904 1949
Yankees by the Numbers
SportsIllustrated.com archive

Other Writing

Alex:
Strikes and Gutters: A Year with the Coen Brothers: Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
My 20 Favorite Hip Hop Albums
Greatest Singles from Hip Hop's Golden Era (1986-1994)
Ten Neglected Hip Hop Classics

Cliff:
Tin Ear
Pazz & Jop ballots: 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003 (post), 2002, 2001
Clem Snide
Eminem
Sleater-Kinney

Bronx Banter Interviews

Roger Angell
Allen Barra
Jim Bouton
Howard Bryant: Part 1, Part 2
Ken Burns: Part 1, Part 2
Will Carroll
Ethan Coen
Harvey Frommer
Malcom Gladwell
Bill James
Pat Jordan
Chuck Korr: Part 1 Part 2
Jane Leavy
Michael Lewis
Tim Marchman
Marvin Miller
Rob Neyer: Part 1, Part 2
Buster Olney: April 2003, Sept. 2004
Buck O'Neil
Joe Posnanski
Alan Schwarz
Joel Sherman
Tom Verducci

Excerpts

Juicing the Game by Howard Bryant Part 1 Part 2
Forging Genius by Steven Goldman Part 1 Part 2
How About That! by Stephen Borelli
The Crowd Sounds Happy by Nicholas Dawidoff
The Last Nine Innings by Charles Euchner
Clemente by David Maraniss
The Soul of Baseball by Joe Posnanaski
Glenn Stout and Richard A. Johnson:
Yankee Century: Part 1 Part 2
Red Sox Century: 1 2 3 4
The Dodgers: 120 Years of Dodgers Baseball

Players

Major Leauge Roster:

Infielders:
J. Giambi BR BP E MLB
R. Cano BR BP E MLB
D. Jeter BR BP E MLB
A. Rodriguez BR BP E MLB
W. Betemit BR BP E MLB mi
C. Ransom BR BP E MLB mi
J. Miranda BR BC mi

Outfielders:
B. Abreu BR BP E MLB
J. Damon BR BP E MLB
X. Nady BR BP E MLB
H. Matsui BR BP E MLB mi
B. Gardner BR E MLB mi
M. Cabrera BR BP E MLB mi

Catchers:
I. Rodriguez BR BP E MLB
J. Molina BR BP E MLB
C. Moeller BR BP E MLB mi
F. Cervelli BR BC mi

Starting Pitchers:
M. Mussina BR BP BC E
A. Pettitte (L) BR BP BC E
P. Hughes BR BP BC E mi
C. Pavano BR BP BC E mi
A. Aceves BR E mi

Relief Pitchers:
M. Rivera BR BP BC E
J. Chamberlain BR BP BC E
D. Marte (L) BR BP BC E
J. Veras BR BP BC E mi
E. Ramirez BR BP BC E mi
B. Bruney BR BP BC E mi
D. Giese BR BP BC E mi
C. Britton BR BP BC E mi
P. Coke (L) BR BC E mi
D. Rasner BR BP BC E mi
S. Ponson BR BP BC E mi
D. Robertson BR BC E mi
H. Sanchez BC mi

15-day DL:
C. Wang BR BP BC E
60-day DL:
J. Posada BR BP E MLB
J. Albaladejo BR BP BC E mi
A. Brackman BC

Coaches:
J. Girardi (Mgr) BR BP BC
R. Thomson (Bench) BC
Kevin Long (Hit) BR
D. Eiland (Pitch) BR BP BC
B. Meacham (3B) BR BP BC
T. Peña (1B) BR BP BC
M. Harkey (Pen) BR BP BC

40-man Roster:
AAA
S. Duncan BR BP E MLB mi
J. Christian BR BP E MLB mi
I. Kennedy BR BP BC E mi
C. Wright (L) BR BP BC E mi
J. Marquez BR BC mi

Designated for Assignment:
B. Traber (L) BR BP BC E mi

Select Minor Leaguers:

AAA Scranton Wilkes-Barre Yankees:
B. Castro BR mi DL
C. Basak BR BP BC E MLB mi
E. Duncan BC mi
N. Green BR mi
B. Broussard BR mi
M. Carson BC mi
C. Stewart BR BP E MLB mi
J. Brown BC mi DL
K. Igawa (L) BR BP BC E JB mi
M. Melancon BC mi
J.B. Cox BC mi
S. Strickland BR BC mi
S. Jackson BC mi
E. Milton BR BC mi DL
V. Zambrano BR BC mi DL

AA Trenton Thunder:
K. Russo BR mi
R. Peña BC mi DL
C. Malec BC mi
M. Vechionacci BC mi DL
A. Jackson BC mi
C. Curtis BC mi
E. Gonzalez BR mi
P.J. Pilittere BC mi
J. Jones BC mi
G. Kontos BC mi
J. Nuñez BC mi
B. Smith BC mi DL
A. Claggett BC mi
O. Perez BR BC mi
M. Gardner BC mi
K. Whelan BC mi
W. Arias (L) BC mi

A Tampa Yankees:
E. Nuñez BC mi
C.J. Henry BC mi DL
T. Battle BC mi
K. Anson BC mi
J. Gil BC mi
A. Horne BC mi DL
Z. McAllister BC mi
W. De La Rosa (L) BC mi
C. Garcia BC mi

Low-A Charleston RiverDogs:
J. Snyder BC mi
M. Cusick BC mi
B. Suttle BC mi
A. Romine BC mi
J. Montero BC mi
D. Betances BC mi
J. Heredia BC mi
J. Ortiz BC mi
C. Heyer BC mi

Low-A Staten Island Yankees:
D. Adams mi
P. Venditte mi

Rookie Gulf Coast Yankees:
C. Joseph mi
C. Smith mi
K. Higashioka mi

Key:
BR = Baseball-Reference
BP = Baseball Prospectus
BC = Baseball Cube (past mL stats)
mi = MiLB.com (current mL stats)
E = ESPN (current splits, game logs)
MLB = MLB.com hit charts
JB = Japanese Baseball.com

The Recently Departed

2008 Yankees:
R. Sexson BR BP E MLB
M. Ensberg BR BP E MLB CLE mL
A. Gonzalez BR BP E MLB mi WAS
K. Farnsworth BR BP BC E DET
L. Hawkins BR BP BC E HOU
S. Patterson BR BC mi SD

Nady/Marte Trade:
J. Tabata BC mi
J. Karstens BR BP BC E mi
R. Ohlendorf BR BP BC E
D. McCutchen BC mi

2008 Campers/mLers:
C. Woodward BR BP BC E MLB PHI mL
J. Lane BR mi BOS mL
G. Porter BC mi WAS mL
J.D. Closser BR mi SD mL
S. Henn (L) BR BP BC E mi SD
H. Phillips (L) BR BC mi TB mL
S. White BR BC mi

2007 Yankees:
J. Torre (Mgr) BR BP BC LAD
D. Mientkiewicz BR BP BC E MLB PIT
A. Phillips BR BP BC E MLB mi CIN
J. Phelps BR BP BC E MLB STL
M. Cairo BR BP BC E MLB SEA
K. Thompson BR BP BC E MLB mi PIT
B. Sardinha BC mi SEA mL
W. Nieves BR BP BC E MLB WAS
R. Clemens BR BP BC E mi
T. Clippard BR BP BC E mi WAS
L. Vizcaino BR BP BC E COL $7.5m/2yrs
M. DeSalvo BR BP BC E mi ATL mL
M. Myers (L) BR BP BC E LAD mL
R. Villone (L) BR BP BC E mi STL
S. Proctor BR BP BC E LAD
J. Brower BR BP BC E mi CIN mL
C. Bean BR BP BC E mi ATL mL

2007 Campers and mLers:
E. Durazo BR BP BC E MLB mi
A. Cannizaro BR BP BC E MLB mi TB mL
A. Chavez BR BP BC E MLB mi LAD mL
K. Reese BR BP BC E MLB mi
R. Chavez BR BP BC E MLB mi PIT mL
O. Santos BC mi BAL mL
T. Pratt BR BP BC E MLB
T.J. Beam BR BP BC E mi PIT mL
B. Kozlowski (L) BR BP BC E mi Japan

Molina Trade:
J. Kennard BC mi

Abreu Trade
M. Smith (L) BR BP BC E mi PHI
C. Monasterios BC mi PHI
J. Sanchez mi PHI

Food Blogs

Syndication

About the Toaster

Baseball Toaster runs on some experimental software called Fairpole. It's still under development.

For more information, please visit the Fairpole blog, or read the FAQ.

Return Serve

2008-10-23 14:22

by Cliff Corcoran

The Phillies were supposed to win Game 1 last night behind Cole Hamels, and they did. The Rays are supposed to win Game 2 tonight behind James Shields to salvage a split at home. Result pending. My preview is up on SI.com.

Comments (60)

Show/Hide Comments 1-50

2008-10-23 15:24:28

1. Zack

I'm thinking another relatively close Phillies win, but I thought from the start the Phils would win in 5...

2008-10-23 17:40:41

2. Shaun P

1 And I thought, with just one comment so far, it had to be thealarmis!

I imagine the TB bats wake up tonight, but I have no objective evidence to base that on. In any case, a Tampa win evens the Serious and makes it more likely to go the full 7 games, so that's what I'm pulling for.

2008-10-23 17:47:23

3. Mr OK Jazz TOKYO

Game Two a must win
big Game James"can he step up?
James Worthy, high praise..

2008-10-23 18:14:36

4. OldYanksFan

It is in the stars
Destiny will have it's way
Rays will get their rings.

2008-10-23 18:45:40

5. Mr OK Jazz TOKYO

Banter still quiet
OYF and I alone
Baseball, our solace

2008-10-23 19:15:36

6. thelarmis

just got home from gig
stayed late to talk with hot blonde
tampa bay will win

2008-10-23 19:19:16

7. thelarmis

bobby hutcherson
freddie hubbard hank mobley
blue note fucking rules

2008-10-23 19:19:51

8. thelarmis

joe buck is a tool
timothy mccarver sucks
fire joe morgan

2008-10-23 19:21:08

9. thelarmis

2 it's only me when there's at least 4 or 5 posts in a row - it's my trademark! ; )

2008-10-23 19:25:36

10. Just fair

Wife loves the E.R.
Rotting brain thinks about score
flips channel, hears yell

2008-10-23 19:28:30

11. OldYanksFan

A Jew and a Jap?
A horny drummer as well
Such diversity!

2008-10-23 19:29:00

12. thelarmis

10 that's friggin' awesome, dude! : )

4-zip Rays, bottom 6. shields is out. wheeler faced feliz, price warming in pen...

2008-10-23 19:30:00

13. OldYanksFan

No I'm NOT racist!
Counting fucking syllables!
No offense is meant!

2008-10-23 19:30:34

14. thelarmis

11 2 jews! and i don't think mr. jazz tokyo is japanese, i think it's just his wife, but i could be wrong. that happens a lot. an awful lot...

2008-10-23 19:32:53

15. thelarmis

13 i feel like a moron sitting here counting syllables on my digits! but haiku's are fun! they were having a haiku contest at the local asian noodle house recently. i didn't take part, but that restaurant is frickin' amazing!

2008-10-23 19:33:34

16. thelarmis

banter comes alive
syllable counting is fun
asian noodle house

2008-10-23 19:33:48

17. OldYanksFan

2 Jews? Well then... since you were hitting on a blond...
Do you know the difference between Jewish women and gentile women?

2008-10-23 19:36:57

18. thelarmis

OYF - it's funny, the whole 5-7-5 thing is so rhythmic. frank zappa is a major hero of mine. i study the hell outta cross-rhythms. in fact, i'm finishing up my solo percussion cd right now and there are TONS of 5's & 7's in there! : )

most of those rhythms are subdivided as 1-2 1-2-3 or 1-2 1-2 1-2-3

2008-10-23 19:38:28

19. Mr OK Jazz TOKYO

14 Hahahahah!! staying late to hit on the hot blonde is an acceptable excuse for missing the game! can't get enough of Blue Note either!

and nope, am not Japanese, Brooklyn born and bred. (Though been here to long now I can't fathom how anyone could wear their shoes in the house back home..filthy habit)

OYF...2 Jews and a Muslim (me by birth)..sounds like another punchline waiting to happen!

2008-10-23 19:38:38

20. thelarmis

17 ooh, i know this is a joke. i don't know the punchline. but in all seriousness, i always go for the goy... : )

2008-10-23 19:41:03

21. Just fair

Trop's bells ring untrue
Brotherly love, nature's air
Cracked bell, bye catwalks

2008-10-23 19:42:18

22. thelarmis

19 i'll tell you the story behind me staying late if i ever get around to emailing you offline...

would you believe the place was playing some college football game? ugh. i guess 'coz it was on espn. i saw the rays go up 1-0, on the bottom line. for some reason, i get yankee am radio here in my car a tiny bit but can't get espn radio at all. i came home just as the safety squeeze made it 4-nuthin'...

yeah, there's definitely a punchline in there! wish sliced bread was around...

2008-10-23 19:43:45

23. thelarmis

21 sun ra was once asked why he moved to philadelphia at a point. he said, "i gotta fix the crack in the liberty bell!" or something to that effect...

2008-10-23 19:45:46

24. OldYanksFan

18 I may be wrong, but I think YES has done some stuff in 7?
And since you ask....
Gentile women have REAL orgasms and FAKE jewelry!

2008-10-23 19:48:03

25. OldYanksFan

William... are you lurking in the shadows?

2008-10-23 19:50:56

26. thelarmis

24 oh, of course, YES has stuff in 7! so do the beatles and alice in chains, for that matter. 7, more specifically 7/8, is my very favorite time signature. but the "5's" & "7's" i speak of, are a different matter entirely - i'm talking about "cross-rhythms", which is a pretty advanced concept. i adore them! : )

yes, i can attest to that punchline! definitely the way to go, as far as i'm concerned. my brother did well and my mom is happy, so i can follow what i chase...

here's the kid. price vs. utley

2008-10-23 19:53:14

27. Mr OK Jazz TOKYO

26 you know "Vital Transformation" off the first Mahavishnu Orchestra album? what time is that in? Billy Cobham was just SICK on that track!

2008-10-23 19:53:51

28. Just fair

23 I never heard of Sun Ra until I googled him, but the name brought to mind this scene which always puts a smile on my face.
Yes, I know, golf has nothing to do with jazz. : )
http://tinyurl.com/2z2t5n

2008-10-23 19:57:13

29. thelarmis

27 it's in 9/8. it's an amazing track. my favorite drummer, steve smith, named his fusion group partially after that track - Vital Information.

cobham rules on that! my old fusion trio is supposed to have a reunion next spring. if so, for the 1st set, we're adding the bass player from my jazz trio and a violinist, and we're re-enacting Inner Mounting Flame, in it's entirety for a live cd/dvd release. i'll let you know if it comes to fruition...

2008-10-23 19:57:25

30. OldYanksFan

Price is the real deal.
And Cobham is a monster.
When I saw him live, I was just stunned.

2008-10-23 19:59:21

31. OldYanksFan

thelarmis - being from the south, do you remember a band (one of my favorites) named Sanford/Townsend?

Another great band that just disappeared was 'Lighthouse'.

2008-10-23 20:01:43

32. Mr OK Jazz TOKYO

29 definately let me know if that happens..

30 have never seen Cobham in concert! only people i'd put ahead of him are Elvin Jones and the too-hastily-departed Tony Williams. Tony played with Miles when he was 16!!

2008-10-23 20:02:52

33. thelarmis

i like your 'odd' version of haiku:

5, 7, 9

would make a cool King Crimson tune! : )

2008-10-23 20:03:17

34. thelarmis

good lord, that's a huge thing of chew in bossman's mouth...

2008-10-23 20:04:26

35. thelarmis

32 i've seen cobham in concert a coupla times and in clinic. i've met him twice, also.

tony played w/ jackie mclean even before miles. i miss him everyday...

2008-10-23 20:06:26

36. thelarmis

31 i'm from Queens, dude! i moved down here after Grad School, 'coz i got a gig based down here. been here a long time by now though... (12 years).

nope, i don't know either of those bands, sorry. there were some big bands from this area that i had never heard of til i moved here. ie: atlanta rhythm section, mother's finest, the outlaws... reminds me of the Good Rats from Long Island...

2008-10-23 20:07:29

37. thelarmis

wow, BJ grounds into another DP. he'd probably run faster if he got rid of that giant wad of tobacco in his mouth. that shit is just incredibly disgusting. ick!

2008-10-23 20:13:46

38. Shaun P

6 9 Completely understandable.

Now that my work is almost done, I can focus more on what's going on in this game . . .

11 14 19 I stink at haiku, but I guess I'm the resident Catholic tonight, so OYF, if you've got any "two Jews, a Muslim, and a Catholic were in a bar" type jokes, now's the time to break them out! =)

I'm shocked Maddon is leaving Price in. But hey, good for him.

2008-10-23 20:16:24

39. Shaun P

38 In retrospect, just fair and Zack were here too, but I don't know where they fall - so OYF, if we find out, you can expand the punchline!

Meantime Price gets the two guys who hit lefties really well, and now faces . . . wow, Eric Bruntlett!

That's why I was surprised Maddon left Price in.

2008-10-23 20:26:48

40. OldYanksFan

Check it out!
http://tinyurl.com/64wb8g
Everybody knows this tune.
Nobody knows who did it.
Same here.
http://tinyurl.com/5ve7um

Classic early 70's rock!

2008-10-23 20:26:48

41. thelarmis

38 i don't think i ever tried a haiku til last nite! go ahead and try one, they're fun! : )

muslim in japan
2 jews and a catholic
waiting for punchline

2008-10-23 20:26:57

42. Just fair

39 Never spent time in a non-catholic school until I taught in one after college. But I've been known to let out a good Oy every now and again. So there ya' go. : )

2008-10-23 20:28:48

43. thelarmis

38 resident catholic = "token goy"! : )

damn, ruiz having the game of his life. i hope bruntlett got his homerun ball that was thrown back. rollins is due...

2008-10-23 20:29:38

44. thelarmis

rollins should be on first. bad call...

2008-10-23 20:30:46

45. thelarmis

holy hot! everyone see that blonde clapping w/ her hands above her head? mmmm... : )

2008-10-23 20:32:39

46. OldYanksFan

In India, the Cow is considered sacred.
India is 15% Muslim. Do Muslims consider the Cow sacred?
I got a Jewish Rabbi/Indian Holy man joke...

2008-10-23 20:33:12

47. thelarmis

ruiz has been hustling like crazy tonite! rollins should be on 3rd with 1 out...

2008-10-23 20:33:23

48. Shaun P

41 42 43 So that haiku should now read:

Muslim in Japan
Two Jews and two token goys
waiting for punchline

Boy, Price is something. I'm kinda surprised he's still in there, though. I guess it doesn't hurt that his next two batters (if it goes that far) are lefties. And Howard can't hit lefties, though Utley can.

2008-10-23 20:33:23

49. Just fair

Priest, Rabbi, Pastor
An Altar, Hopa, Pulpit
Those aren't buoy's

2008-10-23 20:34:56

50. OldYanksFan

thelarmis - check out:
http://tinyurl.com/64wb8g
And tell me if you have heard it before.

Show/Hide Comments 51-100

2008-10-23 20:35:24

51. thelarmis

46 oh, sacred moo! i never saw a moo until i was 17 years old - i'm definitely NOT from the south! : )

2008-10-23 20:38:37

52. thelarmis

50 i'm listening right now. i don't think i've ever heard it before. it's a really great tune, man! i played in a group that did a lot of this style, but i'm not familiar with this one, sorry... great feel to it!

2008-10-23 20:39:41

53. thelarmis

ken rosenthal is a freaking midget. oy yoy yoy!

um, touching his jersey is considered HBP, kid! he'll learn...

2008-10-23 20:41:05

54. OldYanksFan

Where in Queens you from?

2008-10-23 20:45:09

55. thelarmis

54 i'm from far rockaway. i was born there and lived there til i was 8. went to a yeshiva til middle of 3rd grade. then, i moved to right over the border into long island, by JFK. off to penn state for college, then down here to atlanta. it's really great down here! : )

2008-10-23 20:47:15

56. OldYanksFan

I'm originally from Great Neck, bordering on Little Neck. Small world.

2008-10-23 20:49:12

57. thelarmis

56 yeah! my great aunt lives in great neck. my brother isn't far from there. small world indeed...

2008-10-23 20:54:18

58. OldYanksFan

OK Guy... g'night. See ya Saturday.

2008-10-23 20:54:41

59. 3rd gen yankee fan

That OYF sure can bust out some haiku yo

2008-10-23 20:55:19

60. thelarmis

sounds good, man. take it easy...