Well, yesterday was Hall of Fame Induction Day, and as a Brooklyn resident I’d just like to take the opportunity, on this touching and historic occasion, to say:
WALTER !@#&^?! O’MALLEY?! Are you !@*^$! kidding me?!?
What the hell is wrong with these people? What kind of organization inducts Walter O'Malley and not Buck O'Neil -- or, for that matter, Bowie Kuhn and not Marvin Miller -- and what do they take to help themselves sleep at night?
Kevin Kennedy and Mark Grace were blathering on in praise of this beady-eyed* backstabber on FOX yesterday, before the Sox game. “Oh, he was so influential,” they droned.
Sure he was. So was Arnold Rothstein. So were the rats who carried bubonic plague across Europe, but I don’t see anyone making any speeches or plaques for them.
...Okay, look, it's possible I'm overreacting just slightly. I know all about the revisionist history that paints Robert Moses as the real villain of the Dodgers' story, and I'm sure there's at least a few shreds of truth to that. So I hope no L.A. Dodgers fans will take any offense. After all, it’s not your fault that your team was built on a pile of pilfered bones, blood, and tears. Enjoy Casey Blake!
*When I say beady-eyed I’m not kidding. Look at him. And this is the presumably flattering photo they picked for PR purposes. Look deep into these eyes and tell me if you see any trace of genuine emotion or a human soul in there. You don’t, do you? They’re flat, like a doll’s eyes. I’m just saying.